Yo Momma So Fat She Fat!
Author: admin
Monkeying Around
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy says, “No, what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!”, says the bartender.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.”
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks.
“Now what?”, responds the patron.
“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”
Jesus joker
what has doctor spock and the iraq got in common they have both been fucked by vulcans
Yo mama is so hairy
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Skool for blondes
Day1:
A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,”We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 2:
“We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 3:
“We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I’m a 36DD. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “No dear, it’s because your 25.”
Submitted by Curtis
Editted by Calamjo
Knock Knock 14
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anna!
Anna who?
Anna going to tell you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anne Boleyn!
Anne Boleyn who?
Anne Boleyn alley!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Annetta!
Annetta who?
Annetta wisecrack and you’re out of here!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Annie!
Annie who?
Annie one you like!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Anthem!
Anthem who?
You Anthem devil you!
The Garden of Eden
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.”Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit.”They must be British.” “Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees.”They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.””No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian.”
A quote on marriage
Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.
YOUR MOMMA
Your momma so ugli she makes micheal jackson look human
Knock KnockWho’s there?Toucan!Toucan who?Toucan play
Knock KnockWho’s there?Toucan!Toucan who?Toucan play at this game!
Army Training
A son comes home from the Army. After a few hours, he finally
gets to talk to his father alone behind the barn.
“So, son, what did the Army teach you?” asked the father.
“Well, they taught me how to kill people,” said the son.
“With what?” asked father.
“We used all kinds of things, like guns and knives, but my
favorite was the grenade,” said the son.
“What’s a grenade?” asked the father.
“Well, I brought one home to show you. You just pull this pin
out and throw it as far as you can,” said the son. The son
proceeded to give a demonstration. Lo and behold, the son throws
the grenade on top of the outhouse.
KABOOM!!! The outhouse is demolished. All the lumber and
everything else lands in a heap in the yard. Grandpa sticks his
head out of the pile and says, “Whew, glad I didn’t let that one
loose in the house!”
Tabletop Viagra
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband’s sex drive. ‘What about trying Viagra?’ asks the doctor.’Not a chance’ says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.”‘No problem,’ replies the doctor. ‘Drop it into his coffee, he won’t even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.’A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. ‘Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.”What happened?’ asks the doctor.’Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.”What was terrible?’ said the doctor, ‘was the sex not good?'”Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I’ve had in 25 years, but I’ll never be able to show my face in McDonald’s again.