******************************************************************WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE! Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!******************************************************************WASHINGTON, D.C.-The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, e-mail viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes.’These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers’, a spokesman said. ‘Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner’. However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.’My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone’, reported one weeping victim. ‘I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous.’Another victim, now in remission, added, ‘When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true’. It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and state, ‘My name is Jane, and I’ve been hoaxed’. Now, however, she is spreading the word. ‘Challenge and check whatever you read,’ she says. Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:– The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking.– The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others.– A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true.T.C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, ‘I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I’ve stopped using shampoo’. When told about the Gullibility Virus, T. C. said he would stop reading e-mail, so that he would not become infected.Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community. Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is on-line help from many sources, including:– Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability at http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html– Symantec Anti Virus Research Center at http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html– McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List at http://www.mcafee.com/support/hoax.html– Dr. Solomons Hoax Page at http://www.drsolomons.com/vircen/hoax.html– The Urban Legends Web Site at http://www.urbanlegends.com– Urban Legends Reference Pages at http://www.snopes.com– Datafellows Hoax Warnings at http://www.Europe.Datafellows.com/news/hoax.htmThose people who are still symptom free can help inoculate themselves against the Gullibility Virus by reading some good material on evaluating sources, such as:– Evaluating Internet Research Sources at http://www.sccu.edu/faculty/R_Harris/evalu8it.htm– Evaluation of Information Sources at http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~agsmith/evaln/evaln.htm– Bibliography on Evaluating Internet Resources at http://refserver.lib.vt.edu/libinst/critTHINK.HTMIt *is* possible to design responsible alerts for people to circulate on the Internet. Here is a how-to that draws positive conclusions from long experience with the evils of badly designed alerts:– Designing Effective Action Alerts for the Internet at http://weber.ucsd.edu/~pagre/alerts.htmlLastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.
Author: admin
12 shots
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as
he can.
The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?”
The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.”
The bartender says, “What do you have?”
The guy says, “75 cents.”
Impaired Vision
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses. Teller: You certainly do. This is a bank!
Skittlez
yo momma so fat…she sat on the rainow and skittles popped out!!
Never raise your hands to
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Competitive Man!
What’s the definition of a competitive man?
The one who finishes first and third in the same masturbation contest!
Clumsy Blonde
Did you hear the one about the blonde who walked into the bar. She said, “Ouch!”
Back as Anyone on Earth for a Day
These three nuns die and go to heaven. They are greeted at the
pearly gates by St. Peter, who tells them, “Ladies, because you
have given such valuable service to God while on earth, he is
granting you each one wish. You can go back to earth for one day
as anyone you choose to be.”
The first nun says, “I would like to be Jennifer Lopez.” All of
a sudden, “poof,” she was back on earth running around with her
big, juicy booty.
The second nun says, “I would like to be Pamela Sue Anderson.”
Once again, there was a “poof,” and she was jiggling around all
over the earth.
The third nun thinks for a minute and says, “I would like to be
Alice Kapipaline.” St. Peter says, “Sister, I don’t recall an
Alice Kapipaline ever being born. You wait right here while I go
and check our records.”
After several hours, St. Peter finally comes back and
says,”Sister, I can not find any Alice Kapipaline in our
records, are you sure she existed?”
The nun pulls a news clipping out of her pocket and hands it to
St. Peter. After he carefully studies it, he looks at the nun
and says, “Sister, it was the ‘Alaskan Pipeline’ that was laid
by 10,000 workers!”
The Phone Call
There are several men in the locker room of a private club after
exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone that was on one of the
benches, rings. A man picks it up and here is the conversation:
“Hello?”
“Honey, it’s me.”
“Sugar!”
“Are you at the club?”
“Yes,”
“Great! I’m at the mall and I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is
absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?”
“What’s the price?”
“Only $1,500.”
“Well, go ahead and get it if you like it that much.”
“And I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001
models. There’s one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman
and he gave me a great price and since we need to exchange the
BMW that we bought last year…”
“What price did he quote you for?”
“Only $60,000.”
“OK, but for that price I want all the options.”
“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful! Before we hang up, there’s one
more thing.”
“What is it?”
“I went to see the real estate agent this morning and saw the
house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale!. Remember? The
one with a pool, English garden, acre of parking area,
beachfront property…”
“How much are they asking?”
“Just $450,000. It’s a magnificent price and I see that we have
just enough money in the bank to buy it.”
“Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?”
“OK, sweetie. Thanks! I’ll see you later! I love you!!”
“Bye. I love you, too.”
The man hangs up the phone and holds it up asking, “Does anyone
know who this phone belongs to?”
Christmas Jokes!
As a little boy climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual,”And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”
Q: What’s red and white and falls down the chimney?
A: Santa Klutz!!!!
Q: If athletes get athlete’s foot, then what do astronauts get?
A: Missile toe.
Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?
A: It?s in Decembrrrrr.
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.
Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.
The Top 15 Misguided Sequels (Part I)
15> Star Wars Whatever: You Geeks Will See It Anyway
14> Pokemon 2: Electric Pikachu
13> Rocky VI: I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up by the Count of Ten
12> The Matrix: Redundant
11> Willy Wonka and the Slaughterhouse: Mad Oompa Loompa Disease
10> Spider-Man vs. Orkin Man
9> Malcolm XXX
8> Wrong Turn 2: Gladys, Just Give Me the Goddamn Map, Will You?
7> Armageddon 2: Shit, We Missed One
6> Master and Commander II: Aubrey’s Turn in the Barrel
5> Studbiscuit
4> American Pie 4: Mincemeat
3> Freddy Got Fingered 2: Fingered Harder
2> Burp Betty
1> Lord of the Rings IV: She’s Gotta Hobbit
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]