Yours Fun Portal !
Your so poor one day i saw you kicking a can anmd when i asked you what you were doing and you told me you were moving!
Your so poor i stepped on a cockroach and your mom yelled you damn b**** that was our dinner!
You so poor I blew out your match and you yelled “dad, the heaters out again!”
What do you call a barn full of negros?
Antique farm equipment.
Three guys are on top of the Empire State Building and they are bragging
about how big their dicks are. They finally decide to compare them by
dangling them off the roof.
The first guy pulls his dong out and hangs it over the side and it dangles
down to the 20th floor.
The second guy pulls his hog out and lets it fly over the side of the roof
and it goes down to the 10th floor.
Then the third guy whips his schlong out and lets it fly. He then starts
shaking his body wildly. The first guy asks the third guy, “What are you
doing?” The third guy replies, “I’m dodging cars!”
I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you. I used to come here all the time with my ex. Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
What is the difference between bush’s tie and horse’s tail ?
horse’s tail covers the whole asshole.
Gravy Pants
Firing Scud Missiles
Turd Honking
Mud Duck
Panty Burps
Pant Stainers
Cut the Cheese
Trouser Cough
K-Fart
Crack Splitters
Turd Tooties
Anal Audio
Great Brown Cloud
Exercising the meat nozzle
Why does New Jersey have more landfills, and California have more lawyers?
New Jersey had first pick.
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you’ll wear to the 4-H Fair.You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, ‘I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the alligator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open his mouth and I’ll remove my genitals unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.’The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The alligator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The alligator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.’I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.’ A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up.’I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle.’
One day a boy came home from school,and started his homework(hes in 2nd grade).”one plus one that son of a bitch is two,two plus two that son of a bitch is four”the boy said.The mother was worried,but stupidly se thought that it would go away………The next day the boy came home from school and said “1+1that son of a bitch is 2,2+2that son of a bitch is 4”.The mother went to the boys teacher the next day and said”Are you teaching my son 1+1that son of a bitch is 2?”and the teacher says “No.” “Im teaching him 1+1the sum of the which is 2……DUH!”
Little Johnny: Mom, what kind of bird brings white babies?Mother: Why, a stork, little Johnny.Little Johnny: Mom, what kind of bird brings black babies? Mother: A raven, dear.Little Johnny: Then what kind of bird brings no babies at all?Mother: A swallow!
Two blondes were walking down the street when they saw a compact laying on
the sidewalk. One blonde picked it up and looked in the mirror inside and
said “Wow! This person looks familiar.”
The other blonde grabbed the compact and took a look and said “You dummy,
that’s me.”