Q. What did the woman say to her swimming instructor?
A. “Will I really drown if you take your finger out?”
Author: admin
4 funny yo momma jokes
1.Ur momma is so fat when she sat on the rainbow she made skittles.
2.Ur momma is so fat when she jumped outta the sky she got stuck.
3.Ur momma is so fat when she took one step she made an earthquake.
4.Ur momma is so ugly when she loooked into the mirror she got crusty.
Posh spice
it was said that posh spice was having an affair with michael jackson. He denied it as he was in Brooklyn at the time
Crowded mens room
Professor Pollen went into the men’s room on the train and found it crowded
with other men.
When he came out ten minutes later, his wife said,”Darling, you’ve still got
whiskers. Why didn’t you shave?”
“Oh, dear! I thought I did,” he said. “But there were six of us using the same
mirror, so I must have shaved the guy standing next to me!”
Hab�a una pareja de enamorados
Hab�a una pareja de enamorados que estaban desesperados por su situaci�n econ�mica, as� que la chica se arma de valor y le dice al enamorado:
“Carlos ya no aguanto m�s, me voy a los Estados Unidos a conseguir trabajo”, y la condenada toma sus maletas y se larga.
Despues de tres meses, al enamorado le llega un telegrama con el titulo “P.P.P”, el enamorado angustiado lo lee:
P: POCA PLATA.
P: PELIGRA POTO.
P: POSIBLE PUTA.
As� que el enamorado apenado le responde y al cabo de una semana la chica recibe un telegrama urgente que se titulaba “C.C.C”, el cual dec�a:
C: COBRA CARO.
C: CUIDA CULO.
C: CARI�OS CARLOS.
Camping
Last summer, I took my wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, I passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. I tried the usual tactics to determine direction – moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to panic, I spotted a small cabin off in the distance. I pulled out my binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led us right back to our campsite.
“That was terrific,” she said. “How did you do it?”
“Simple,” I replied. “In this part of the country all TV satellite dishes point south.”
Adoption
I know you are nobody’s fool, but maybe somebody can adopt you.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
Children give life to the
Children give life to the concept of immaturity.
Somthing Fishy
Q:What Did The Little Girl Try To Do to The Little Fish?
A: Drowned It Lol
Knock KnockWho’s there?Alfred!Alfred who!Alfred the
Knock KnockWho’s there?Alfred!Alfred who!Alfred the needle if you sew!
Dedicated geologists
Total immersion geologistsTotal immersion geologists: Are you totally obsessed with geology? If so, then you are a total immersion geologist. Here are the ten warning signs: 1. You judge a restaurant by the type of decorative building stone they use rather than their food. 2. You manage to turn any conversation into a discussion of geology, as in: “What did you think of that Superbowl game last night?” “I must have missed that conference. Who sponsored it? Geological Society of America?” 3. You refuse to let nightfall stop your field excursions and continue looking at the outcrops using the headlights of your field vehicle. 4. You like rock music only because it’s called “rock” music. 5. You will try to claw through the water flowing in a stream to get a better look at the bedrock at the base of the channel. 6. You will walk across eight lanes of freeway traffic to see if the outcrop on the other side of the highway is the same type of rock as the side you’re parked on. 7. You name your children after rocks and minerals. 8. You’re not sure if you have children. 9. You view non-geologists as subhuman.
Evils of Liquor
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
“Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”