Through all the thngs that came to the pass…Our love has grown…but not as big as your ass
Author: admin
“Men never do evil so
“Men never do evil so cheerfully and so completely as when they do so from
religious conviction.”
— Blaise Pascal
Un joven y un viejo
Un joven y un viejo trabajaban en oficinas conjuntas. El muchacho hab�a notado que el anciano siempre ten�a un frasco lleno de man� en su escritorio. Como el chico amaba los man�es, un d�a que el carcamal no estaba en su escritorio no se pudo resistir y fue a la oficina del viejo y se comi� casi medio tarro. Cuando aquel regres�, �ste se sinti� apenado y le confes� al vetusto. Sin darle importancia, el viejo lo anim�:
“Est� bien, desde que perd� mi dentadura s�lo puedo chuparle el chocolate a los M & M”.
Kiesha such a chicken head
Kiesha such a chicken head she has to replace her name saying Kiesha instead of “I”
Example: Kiesha doeant want to speak to you, good bye(rudely).
A nun
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the Fathers noticed she was
gaining a little weight. “Gaining a little weight are we Sister Susan?”, he
asked.
“Oh no, Father. Just a little gas.” Sister Susan explained, matter-of-factly.
A month or so later the Father noticed that she had gained even more weight.
“Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?”, he asked again.
“Oh no, Father. Just a little gas.” She replied again.
A few months later the Father noticed Sister Susan pushing a baby carriage in
the convent.
He leaned over and looked in the carriage and said –
“What a cute little fart!”
POOPIE LIST
GHOST POOPIE: the kind that you feel the poopie come out but
theres no poopie in the toilet
CLEAN POOPIE: the kind where you poopie it out, see it in the
toilet but theres nothing on the toilet paper
WET POOPIE: the kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it
still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper
between your butt and your underwear so you wont ruin them with
the stain
SECOND WAVE POOPE: this happens when you’re done poopie-ing and
you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that
you have to poopie some more
POP THE VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POOPIE: the kind where you strain
so much to get it out you practically have a stroke
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: the kind of poope that is so huge , you’re
afraid to flush with out first breaking it into little pieces
with the toilet brush
GASSY POOPIE: it’s so noisy everything within ear shot is
giggling
DRINKING POOPIE: the poopie you have the morning after a long
night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks
on the bottom of the toilet
CORN POOPIE: self explanatory
GEE I WISH I COULD POOPIE POOPIE: the kind where you want to
poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: where it hurts so bad coming out of you that
you swear it was leaving you sideways
WET CHEEKS POOPIE( THE POWER DUMP): the kind that comes out of
your but so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water
LIQUID POOPIE: the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out
of your butt and squirts all over the toilet bowl.
MEXICAN POOPIE: it smells so bad your nose burns
UPPER CLASS POOPIE: the kind of poopie that doesnt smell
SUPRISE POOPIE: you’r not even at the toilet because you are
sure you’re about to fart, but oops!…..a poopie!
DANGLING POOPIE (also known as THE KLINGON): this poopie refuses
to drop into the toilet even though you’re done poopie-ing. you
just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
Yo mama so hairy…
Yo mama so hairy, when you were born, you almost died of rug-burn.
2 snakes walk into a bar…
2 snakes walk into a bar, 1 snake says to the other ”why do humans measure us in inches?” the other snake replies, ”cause we don’t have any feet!!”
Se encuentra un torero en
Se encuentra un torero en la plaza, cuando ve llegar a otro matador todo sucio, golpeado, aporreado y sangrante:
“�Ea! �Pues que te ha pasado? �Te ha cogido el toro?”
“No, eso fue lo �nico que le falt� al animal”.
Government Sponsored Diet
A new diet study concludes that skipping meals every other day may actually benefit one’s health.
In response, President Bush proposed a new budget cut to improve the health of the poor.
Yo mamma so fat..
-I went into your house, took a booger of the wall and yo mamma told me not to touch the family portrait.
YO MAMMA’S SO FAT:
-she was mistaken for god’s bowling ball.
-when her beeper goes off, people think she’s backing up
-she had to go to Sea World to get babtised
-she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth
-her favorite dress is a tent
-she left home with highheels and came back with flip-flops
-she has to iron her pants on the driveway
-she needs a building permit for her girdle
-she needs a hula-hoop for a belly button ear ring
-she puts on tampons with a bazooka
-she has to put lipstick on with a paint roller
-she had to get her ears pierced with a harpoon
-she sat on a rainbow and and Skittles came out
-she sat on a quarter and got 2 dimes and a nickel
-she rolled over 4 quarters and made it a dollar
-when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington’s nose
-the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
Yo mama is so fat….
Your Mama is so fat when you have sex with her it is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.