one day a blonde was driving along when she sort of swirved in
front of a trucker. the trucker signaled for the blonde to pull
over. they both got out and the trucker noticed that the driver
was a blonde and he decided to take advantage of her. the
trucker drew a circle 10 feet away from her car on the ground
with a piece of chalk and told her to stand in it and NOT TO
MOVE. the guy went back to his truck and got a knife and poked
holes in her tires. when the trucker went back to the blonde,
he noticed that she was sort of giggling. he said,”oh so you
think that is funny?” so he went back to her car with the knife
and ripped and tore her leather seats. he went back to the
blonde and noticed that she was laughing a little harder. he
said ” oh so u still think that that is funny , huh?” so he went
back to her car and smashed all of her windows. he went back to
her and noticed that she was laughing so hard that she was
almost crying. he asked her,”WHAT IS SO FUNNY?!” she said,
“every time you turned around, i stepped out of the circle.”
Author: admin
What do you call….
Q: What do you call a kid with a mushroom for a penis?
A: Kyle Hejna
Boy Scout
When does a cub scout become a boy scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Un mudo se encuentra jugando
Un mudo se encuentra jugando bingo. Van diciendo un n�mero, despu�s otro, y as� hasta que gana.
“�Mmmmm!”, exclama el mudo desesperado, tratando de llamar la atenci�n.
“�Mmmmm!”
Al ver que no le hacen caso, comienza a bajarse la cremallera del pantal�n, cuando alguien hombre lo ve y grita:
“�El mudo se la sac�! �El mudo se la sac�!”
Fraud Warning!
WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS!
If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,” DO NOT OPEN IT!
This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government.
This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various other corporations which depend on subsidies to stay in business. This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement.
In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided corporate welfare the IRS helps mastermind. These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don’t be among them!
FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
Bill Gates Dies in a Car accident.
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God….
“Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.”
“Well, what’s the difference between the two?” Bill asks.
God says, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.”
“Fine, but where should I go first?”
“I’ll leave that up to you.”
“Okay, then,” says Bill. “Let me try Hell first.”
So Bill goes to Hell. It’s a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun is shining, the temperature is perfect. He is very pleased. “This is great!” he tells God. “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!”
“Fine,” says God, and off they go.
Heaven is a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It’s nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thinks for a quick minute and decides. “Hmm. I think I’d prefer Hell,” he tells God.
“Fine,” replies God. “As you desire.”
So Bill Gates goes to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decides to check on the late billionaire to see how he is doing in Hell. When he gets there, he finds Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amidst hot flames in a dark cave, being burned and tortured by demons.
“How’s everything going?” he asks Bill.
Bill responds, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, “This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can’t believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?”
“Oh … that was the SCREENSAVER.”
Condoms
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me I am going in.
911
The authorities in America conducted a survey to ascertain why they did not receive many emergency calls from blondes. After exhasted studies the answer is “They can find the nine but cannot find the eleven”
Remember the olden days
“But I also made it clear to (Vladimir Putin) that it’s important to think
beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up,
the world would be safe.” �George W. Bush, May 1, 2001
Men Screwing Light Bulb
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, they’ll screw anything!
Falling Sun
Yo mama so fat when she went bungee jumping in an orange dress everybody
thought the sun was falling!
Fixing dents in the car
A blonde woman was driving her car home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a really bad hail storm. The hail stones were as big as golf balls and her car gets dented up really bad. The next day she takes it in to a repair shop to have the dents looked at.The repair guy noticing that she is blonde and quite dingy when she speaks, decides to have some fun and tells her to blow into the tail pipe of the car really hard when she gets home, and that doing this will cause all of the dents to pop out.When she gets home she starts blowing into the tail pipe as hard as she can, over and over. Just then, her best friend who also is blonde shows up. Her friend sees her blowing into the tail pipe and is quite startled by the action. She blurts out all flippantly, “What are you doing!?”She tells her the repair guy told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.Her girlfriend says “Duh! You need to roll up the windows first!”