Author: admin

The priest was preparing a man for his long day’s journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!”

The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to aggravate anybody.”

Llega el inspector de Hacienda a casa de uno que era rico y aficionado a las apuestas, y le demanda que debe a la administraci�n un mont�n de dinero.

“Caballero, debe usted 25.000� a Hacienda, y vengo a cobrarlos de los contrario pasar� a disposici�n judicial por estafa al Estado.”

“De acuerdo, pero si no le importa antes me gustar�a apostar con usted.”

“�C�mo dice?”

“Me apuesto con usted 50.000� a que tengo los test�culos cuadradros, con forma c�bica.”

“Oiga, eso es imposible.”

“Pues si cree que es imposible apueste, yo apuesto 50.000� a que los tengo totalmente cuadrados.”

“De acuerdo, los apuesto.”

“Pero para una apuesta tan fuerte, para evitar malentendidos, mejor vamos a un abogado para que testimonie la apuesta, �verdad?”

“Buena idea.”

“Vamos, pues.”

Y establecida la apuesta se dirigen a un abogado conocido por el rico apostador. Una vez all�…

“Bueno, p�lpeme los test�culos y ya ver� lo cuadrados que est�n.”

Se pone el inspector a tocar y nota unos genitales normales y corrientes.

“Ja, ja, jaaa, ha perdido la apuesta, tiene los test�culos ovalados como todo el mundo, me debe un mont�n de pasta!!!”

“S�, de acuerdo, he perdido.” y le dice al abogado: “ahora t� dame los 100.000� que apostamos a que el Inspector de Hacienda me tocaba los cojones.”

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together.

“Oh, this is terrible,” exclaims St. Peter, “I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren’t expecting you, your quarters just aren’t ready… We can’t take you in and we can’t send you back.”

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, “Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They’re ours, but we weren’t expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for ’em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It’ll only be a couple of days. What d’ya say?”

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.

However, Two days later St. Peter got a call. “Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey you gotta come get these three clowns. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning!”

Un importante funcionario de una entidad financiera local, llama por tel�fono a su casa:

“�Al�, mi reina? �C�mo est�s, mi amor? �Bien? Qu� bueno, y dime �los ni�os est�n bien? Perfecto �Almorzaron todo?… �S�?… �Qu� gusto! Dime, chiquita �qu� cocinaste hoy?… Uyyyy �Ravioles!… Mi plato preferido, mi cielo. Por eso te adoro, y dime, �todo tranquilo por casa?…. �s�? Oye, �me prometes que hoy en la noche te pondr�s ese babydoll negro, ese que es totalmente transparente?… �S�?… Gracias cosita, por eso te amo tanto… Al ratito te veo �s�, mi amor? Ahora… comun�came con la se�ora, �s�?”

Yo’ mama so fat, when she went swimming, Spain claimed her as a new country!

One day at Sunday school, the teacher was asking the kids where Jesus lives. The teacher picked on one of the kids.

“Jesus lives in my heart.”

“Very good.” said the teacher.

She picks on another kid

“Jesus lives in Heaven.”

Very good said the teacher. Little Johnny is in the back just waving his hand to be called on. The teacher didn’t want to call on little Johnny but it nevertheless.

“Jesus lives in the bathroom.”

After a moment, the teacher asked why he lived in the bathroom.

“Every morning when my dad gets up he bangs on the bathroom door and asks Jesus Christ are you still in there?”