Hindsight is an exact science.
Author: admin
An old occupation
What happens when people of different occupations get old.- Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.- Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.- Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.- Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
Lie For Bush Baby
Press won’t think about the war Shrub just gave us:
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for Bush Baby).
Fibbing’s a virtue, ’cause Dubya’s lazy.
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for Bush Baby).
Iraq now is just Bush’s plaything.
Oil Boy and a puppet is this king.
Iraq attack for oil took heat, so
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for Bush Baby).
War’s his road to avoid defeat.
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for Bush Baby).
Iraq now is just Bush’s plaything.
Oil Boy and a puppet is this king.
Bush Daddy’s past met defeat.
That’s why war hawks must fly.
If Shrub takes hell, he’ll get beat.
Then once again, a Bush says goodbye…
(instrumental break)
Our press right now is just Bush’s plaything.
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for the twit named Bush Baby).
They are just hacks for Shrub, their sweetheart.
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for the twit named Bush Baby).
War’s his road to avoid defeat, so
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for the twit named Bush Baby).
If Shrub took hell, he’d get beat, so that’s why
They lie for Bush Baby (lie for the twit named Bush Baby).
Shrub wants his war while running, now (Lie for Bush Baby).
They lie for Bush baby (lie for Bush Baby)…
(fade)
Ha ha ha bonk
what goes ha ha ha bonk
a blond laughing her head off.
BLONDE: Whats the time?
READHEAD:3.45
BLONDE: (with confused look on her face) i have asked that question 13 times today and everyone keeps giving me different awnsers
Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye
Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs? Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? How come wrong numbers are never busy? Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?
Juega el Real Madrid y
Juega el Real Madrid y la Universidad en el Estadio Azteca en M�xico, y hay mucha gente en las afueras del estadio, y sobretodo, filas largas en las taquillas.
Y en una de estas filas se encuentra formado un gallego que lleg� a apoyar al Real, y lleva como tres horas esperando llegar hasta la taquilla. Cuando ya s�lo le faltan tres personas para llegar a ella, oye que le gritan:
�HEY VENANCIO, HEY VENANCIO!
Y se sale de la fila y ve para todos lados, y nuevamente,
�HEY VENANCIO!
Ve para todos lados y nada.
Cuando intenta regresar a su lugar ya perdi� su puesto en la fila, y la gente lo manda hasta el final. Va de nuevo el gallego, y luego de esperar otras tres horas, cuando ya esta por llegar a la taquilla, nuevamente oye:
�HEY VENANCIO!
Y nuevamente se sale de la fila, y lo mismo, pierde su lugar y lo mandan de nuevo hasta el final de la fila. De nuevo otras tres horas de espera, y cuando ya est� por llegar, oye de nuevo:
�HEY VENANCIO!
Y sale de la fila, pero ahora responde:
�HOMBRE, PERO COMO HARE PARA DECIROS QUE YO NO ME LLAMO VENANCIO!
Computer And A Woman:
Difference Between A Computer And A Woman:
A computer will not laugh at a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
Bobbin
What is the difference between a sewing machine and a lady jogging?
A sewing machine only has one bobbin.
Battery-powered family
A woman walked past her daughter’s closed bedroom door when she heard a
strange buzzing noise. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving
herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked “What are you
doing?”
The daughter replied “Mom, I’m 35 years old, unmarried, and this thing
is about as close as I’m gonna get to a husband. Please, leave me alone.”
The next day, the girl’s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side
of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he saw his daughter making
passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, she
replied, “Dad, I’m 35 years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as
I’ll get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.”
A couple days later, the wife came home from shopping and heard the buzzing
noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered the room and
observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was
next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked “What the hell are
you doing?”
The husband replied “Watching the ball game with my son-in-law.”
Bill Clinton & screw driver
Q: What dose Bill Clinton have in common with a screw driver?
A: A screw driver screws in, and Bill Clinton screws interns!
The goals
“The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this
country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion
is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens.” �George W. Bush,
Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2002
51 days!!!
Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and
start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later,
another blonde walks in,Orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.
Finally, another blonde walks in with what looks like a
Cardboard picture. She puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and
starts cheering with the others, “51 days!
51 days!! The Bar Tender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to
discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster Puzzle. He walks over to one of
the blondes and asks, “What on earth are you doing??” “Well,” the blonde says,
“everyone thinks blondes are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of
this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!