You have ever come home and heard a ruckus in the bathroom. When you looked in, one of the injured fowl had escaped, found the chicken in the mirror, and was currently fighting with said chicken. 56.There have ever been any gun parts, magazines, or ammunition stored on the window ledge of your kitchen. Particularly if they have if they have laid there long enough for the sun to bleach the paper on the shotgun shells.Any part of your driveway has ever been unusable due to nesting fowl.One or more doors to your house or trailer are periodically unusable due to nesting fowl.
Author: admin
H2-O H2-SO4
Little Bobby had a drink but he shall drink no more, for what he thought
was H2-O was H2-SO4.
Mafia Valentines Poems
My love for you… it came and went. So your feet are now in wet cement.I’m here to fulfill your fondest wishes- Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes.Lie down with me- It’s my final offa, Or you’ll be lying wit’ Jimmy Hoffa.I picked up this card from a slim selection, But that’s all they offer in witness protection.I’ve waited so long for you to be mine! Now that Sinatra’s dead, be *my* Valentine.Be my Valentine… and we can do it execution-style.Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass. So please be mine, Valentine, or I’ll have to whack your ass.Violets are blue, roses are red. I blew up your car- So why ain’t you dead?The day we met, my little pet, I knew with just one look, You’d bear a son, and now that’s done, So shut your mouth and cook!Hey.Youse da greatest. Youse da best. But youse is untouchable Like Elliot Ness.Lust is fleeting, True love lingers. Be mine always And you’ll keep your fingers.Hope da chocolates is good, but y’know, dis ain’t really what a guy’s heart looks like.Valentine, Dear, lend me a hand, So I won’t be a self-made man.When a goon makes you die, cuz you told him goodbye — that’s amore!
Sex position
Q. what sexual position makes the ugliest children?
A. well i do not know, ask your parents.
Sign on a nuclear containment building:…
Sign on a nuclear containment building:
WARNING: Radiation area. Prefaded genes only.
A point to remember
“Never Confuse a Memo With a Reality” is a book by Richard A. Moran from the “Lifes Little Instruction Book” series. It covers advice for the business person. One of the items is…
“Reduce all analysis to three bullet points. No one will take time to understand, pay attention or remember anymore”
This was point number 181.
Jesus Christ
A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Christ.”
The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.”
So the drunk says it to the second priest.
The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.”
The drunk says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests.
The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ”Jesus Christ, you’re here again?”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
George Michael
What’s the difference between singer George Michael and a microwave oven?
A microwave stops when you open the door.
Are you talking to me?
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
Sink or Swim – depends on hair color…..
What do you call a blonde in the bottom of a swimming pool?
An Air Pocket!
Egg-Laying
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break
Osoma Viagra!
One day last week the police people in Afganistan found Osmoma * they threw some Viagra in a cave and he popped right up*