Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck, and were dragging it by the
legs back to their car, when they were approached by a seasoned old hunter.
“Hello, Mr. President, and Vice President. If I may please make a
suggestion… it would be much easier for you to drag your deer in the other
direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.”
The leaders of the free world thanked the man and tried his suggestion. A
while later Cheney said, “You know, that was good thinking. This is a lot
easier!”
“Yes sir,” agreed Bush. “But darn it! We’re getting’ farther away from our
truck!”
Author: admin
Catch the Rabbit
Catch The Rabbit The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the
CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest
and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants
throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After
three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not
exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,
killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The
rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a
badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a
rabbit!”
Arithmetic
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many
dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don’t know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don’t know my father.
Spit or Swallow or ?
What’s the difference between love,true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling
Santa Riddle
Why is santa claus always so happy? He knows where all of the bad girls live!
Throwing away garbage
An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn’t find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, “Hey you, what are you doing?””I have to throw this away,” replied the tourist.”You can’t throw it away here. Look, follow me,” the policeman offered.The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. “Here,” said the cop, “dump all the garbage you want.”The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers.”Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?” asked the tourist.”No. This is the American Embassy.”
Jury: A collection of people
Jury: A collection of people banded together for the purpose of deciding which side has hired the better lawyer.
Cold Wave Linked to TemperaturesHalf
Cold Wave Linked to TemperaturesHalf of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for GraduationBlind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn’t Seen in YearsOn behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks go out to those sending flowers, cards and contributing to the death of her husband. The airplane was only a few feet from the ground when it crashed, witnesses said.
Why do blondes wear
Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.
Kermits attention
What do you get when you put two green balls in the palm of your hand?
Kermit the Frog’s undivided attention.
Submitted by
Edited by
Safe sex
What’s the most important question to ask when you want to have safe sex?
What time will your husband get home?
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
What shall we do after graduation?
Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen, were discussing what kind of work
would supply mem with big bucks after graduation.
“Well, I’ve always thought I’d like to be a doctor,” said Higginbote.
“Specialize in something or other. Like obstetrics, maybe.”
“Obstetrics?” scoffed Goldstein. “At the rate science is going, you’d no
sooner learn all about it when bingo! somebody’d find a cure for it.”