One day a cowboy was riding down the trail. He came upon a fork
in the path. At the fork he looked down and found an indian
lying bucknaked on the ground with a hard-on sticking straight
up in the air. Now the cowboy was very startled by this and
gasps: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN?!!!!
The indian sits up and says to the cowboy: this is how I tell
time,right now it is exactly 2:37 in the afternoon. the cowboy
looks at his watch and is absolutely astonished…why holy
buckin broncos son you got right on the money my watch says 2:38
how d’ya do it?…
Indian tells him it’s an ancient indian practice and you
would’nt understand. cowboy nods his head says: much obliged but
I must be on my way, and proceeds to make his way down the trail.
a few hours later the cowboy is riding back the opposite
direction and once again comes to the fork in the path. this
time the cowboy is totally shocked at what he sees because he
looks down and see the same indian jerking off. The cowboy
says: NOW WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN?!!!!!!!!!! The indian
stops looks up at the cowboy and says:
I’m winding my watch
Author: admin
The Top 15 Wrigley Viagra Gum Slogans (regular version)
15> Double your measure, double your gun
14> Share a stick with the one you love
13> Just like the Cubs at Wrigley Field, you, too, will be able to play at night!
12> The flavor that never lets you down
11> We put the “spear” in “spearmint”
10> Double your pleasure, double your fun, halve your whining about how it’s never happened before
9> Chew it all the way home
8> New Wrigley’s Viagra gum: We bring your thing to life
7> Time for the seven-inch stretch!
6> Melts in your mouth, not in your pants
5> Have *you* had a stick lately?
4> Hey old man, wanna piece of candy?
3> Recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists as an effective way to fill cavities
2> Forget the flavor — *you’ll* be like a bedpost overnight
1> It’s Wrigidly Delicious!
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
Botched Vasectomy
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Shortly after he recovers from his an anesthetic his surgeon comes in and tells him: “Well, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news for you.””Give me the bad news first, Doc.” says the patient. “I’m afraid that we accidentally cut your balls off during surgery, son.””Oh my god!” the patient cries, breaking into tears.”But the good news”, the doctor adds, “is that we had them biopsied and you’ll be relieved to know that they weren’t malignant.”
The Big Pillow
Q. Is your dad a terrorist, because you are the bomb!
Too Much Coffee
You know you’ve had too much coffee when…
* You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
* Instant coffee takes too long
* You chew on other people’s fingernails
* You answer the door, before people knock
* You sleep with your eyes open
* You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the coffee
* You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore
* You’re the employee of the month at Starbucks and you don’t even work there
* You help your dog chase its tail
* You lick your coffeepot clean
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
* You’re so wired you pick up FM radio
* You have a picture of your coffee mug, on your coffee mug!
Grandma's Idea
This man stops over to visit his grand parents, during a hot spell, and finds his grand father standing in front of the air conditioner without any pants on.Man says: Gramps, what are you doing? You don’t have any pants on.”Grandfather says “It’s your Grand mothers idea””Yesterday it was so hot I stood here without my shirt, and woke up with a stiff neck”
Q….
Q.
What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Home on the Web
Home on the Web —————– (to the tune of “Home on the Range”)
VERSE: Oh give me a site where the links all work right — one that doesn’t take too long to load — where the text can be seen on my 13-inch screen — one that offers a “no-Java” mode.
REFRAIN: Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM. Please take pity on me — I’m still on Netscape 3 with a 14.4-speed modem!
VERSE: Though your video files give your pages some style I can’t read them upon my PC; Massive graphics and sound crash my system, I’ve found, so please put in some “alt” tags for me!
REFRAIN: Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM Please take pity on me — I’m still on Netscape 3 with a 14.4-speed modem!
VERSE: Please don’t ask me to “chat” with your favorite cat; I don’t have an IRC code. And don’t ask me to buy games for Win 95 — My PC is way too darn old!
REFRAIN: Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM Please take pity on me — I’m still on Netscape 3 with a 14.4-speed modem!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Don’t matter he ain’t gonna come anyway.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Dino!Dino who?Dino the
Knock KnockWho’s there?Dino!Dino who?Dino the answer!
Q: How many pessimists does
Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.
How u make ice scream
Q. how do u make ice scream
A. u put ice in a bowl and u scream in it