Author: admin

A physically large guys meets a woman at a bar, and after a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.

As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for … the act, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms, and says “See there, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!”.

She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, and strikes a muscle builders pose, and says, referring to his bulging legs “See those, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!”.

She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to run out the door, and asks

“Why are you in such a hurry to leave?”.

She replies “with 2000 pounds of dynamite, and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!”

During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for
three months, when he was finally given a week of R & R. He caught a supply boat
to a supply base in the south of England, and then caught a train to London.
The train was extremely crowded and he could not find a seat. He was dead on
his feet and walked the length of the train looking for any place to sit down.
Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for
two people on each seat. On one side sat only a proper looking, older British
lady with a small dog sitting in the empty seat beside her.
Could I please sit in that seat?” he asked. The lady was insulted. “You bloody
Americans are so rude,” she said. “Can’t you see my dog is sitting there?” He
walked through the train once more and still could not find a seat. He found
himself back at the same place.
“Lady, I love dogs – have a couple at home – so I would be glad to hold your
dog if I could sit down,” he said. The lady replied, “You Americans are not only
rude you are arrogant too.”
He leaned against the wall for a time, but was so tired he finally said,
“Lady, I’ve been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent
rest for all that time. Could I please sit there and hold your dog?” The lady
replied, “You Americans are not only rude and arrogant, you are also obnoxious!”

With that comment, the soldier calmly stepped in, picked up the dog, threw it
out the window, and sat down. The lady was speechless. An older, neatly dressed
Englishman sitting across on the other seat spoke up.
“Young man, I do not know if all you Americans fit the lady’s description of
you or not. But I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive
on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now
you have just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.

A man lies on his deathbed surrounded by his family, a weeping wife and four children.

Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic, but the fourth and the youngest is an ugly runt.

“Darling wife,” The husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if…”

The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that you are his father.”

The man dies happy.

The wife mutters under her breath, “Thank God he didn’t ask me about the other three!”

An Australian goes to buy a condom at a nearby chemist.The lady behind the counter gives a choice of three types. German, French, and Australian.”What’s the difference,” he asks?”Well, the Germans are quite active. They have 7 in the pack. One for Monday, one for Tuesday, and so on.” “The French are very passionate people. They have 8. One for Monday, and so on, and 2 on Sundays.” “The Australians, well, they have 12.”At this, the Australian swells up with pride, Really 12?”Yes, 12. One for January, one for February…”

Un enorme negro entra a un ba�o p�blico. En el mingitorio vecino se encuentra un enano que se le queda viendo y comienza a gui�arle el ojo varias veces. El negro, mosqueado, le reclama:

“�Aparte de enano, maric�n!”

“No, lo que pasa es que me est�s salpicando �imb�cil!”