A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the changing room while shopping with her. The little boy gets bored and when his mom comes out, she finds him sliding his hand up a dummy’s skirt. “GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!” she shouts. “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT WOMEN HAVE TEETH DOWN THERE!” The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars that nothing serious happened. So, for the rest of his life, this poor little boy grows up thinking that all women have teeth down below. By the time he reaches 16, he finds himself a girl. One night, while her parents were out of town, she invites him over for a little action.After a few hours of making out and grinding on the sofa, she asks him to go a bit further. “What do you mean?” he asks.”Well, why don’t you put your hand down there?” while pointing to her privates. “HELL NO!” he cries. “You’ve got teeth down there.” “No I don’t,” she responds. “Yes you do,” he says. “My mom told me that you do.” “No I don’t,” she insists. “Here, look for yourself.” With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek. “No, I’m sorry” he says. “My mom already told me that all women have teeth down there.” “Oh for Christ’s sake!” she screams. With that, she whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head, and says, “Look, I don’t have any teeth down there.” He replies, “Well, with the condition of those gums I’m not surprised.”
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Untitled joke
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They usually screw in cars.
Daffy Goes Fishing
Daffy (a blonde duck) was a bit behind schedule. Winter had arrived already and she was just heading south. As she was flying above a small lake, she spotted a net and figured it was just as good a time as any to stop for a snack. Perhaps she could steal a fish before someone caught her. When she landed by the net, there was quite the commotion and she was hit . . . by the puck.
Un sacerdote y una monja
Un sacerdote y una monja se pierden en medio de una tormenta de nieve. Despu�s de caminar un rato, llegan a una caba�a peque�a. Totalmente agotados, se preparan para pasar la noche.
Hab�a una pila de mantas y una bolsa de dormir en el suelo, pero solamente una cama. Caballero aun en circunstancias extremas, el sacerdote indica:
“Hermana, usted duerma en la cama. Yo dormir� en el suelo, en la bolsa de dormir”.
Se mete dentro de ella, sube el cierre rel�mpago para cerrar la bolsa y comienza a quedarse dormido. Casi al instante la monja exclama:
“Padre, tengo fr�o”.
El cura sale dificultosamente de la bolsa de dormir, se levanta, busca una de las frazadas y cubre a la monja con ella. Acto seguido, retorna a la bolsa de dormir dispuesto a conciliar el sue�o, cuando la monja dice nuevamente:
“Padre, sigo teniendo mucho fr�o”.
El sacerdote, un tanto nervioso, repite la operaci�n anterior. Ni bien retorna nuevamente a la bolsa, ya pr�cticamente dormido, cuando lo interrumpe con lo mismo:
“Padre, me estoy congelando”.
Esta vez, el religioso no sale de su bolsa de dormir y habla, como pensando en voz alta:
“Hermana, tengo una idea. Estamos a muchos kil�metros de cualquier ser humano, alejados completamente de la civilizaci�n. �Por qu� no hacemos como si fu�ramos marido y mujer?”
“Por m� no hay problema”, contesta la religiosa con voz coqueta.
“�Entonces lev�ntate de la cama y b�scate tu propia manta!”, responde gritando el cura.
O.J., Elway, and Modell?
Q: What do John Elway, Art Modell, and O.J. Simpson all have in common?
A: They all killed the Browns!
Medicine vs. Sports
Former college basketball coach Abe Lemmons made the following observations
concerning the differences between doctors and coaches:
Doctors can bury their mistakes –
Coaches still have theirs on scholarships.
Finish last in your league and they call you an idiot –
Finish last in medical school and they call you a doctor.
Just once I’d like to see the win-loss records of doctors right out front
where people can see them: Won ten, Lost three, Tied two.
Pure
A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.
“No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.”
“That must be rather difficult.” the man replied.
“Oh, I don’t mind too much.” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”
Does it rain much?
A visitor to Texas once asked, ”Does it ever rain out here?” ”Yes, it does,” replied the rancher. ”Do you remember that part in the Bible when it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?” ”Yes, I’m familiar with Noah’s flood,” the visitor said. ”Well,” said the rancher, ”we got two and a half inches during that spell.”
ON THEIR OWN
More than 75,000 children adopted from abroad and living in this country will
automatically become United States citizens on Tuesday because of changes to
immigration law. The government reported that the kids found this exciting,
especially the thousand or so who were NOT adopted by Mia Farrow.
Life is what passes you
Life is what passes you by while you’re busy making other plans.
Have you ever imagined a
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
There’s a pothole in the
There’s a pothole in the road and you swerve . . . to hit it.Your Truck has more Neon on it than the window of your local bar.You argue to the government that the budwiser plant should be one of the 7 wonders of the world.