This man and woman was in a little shack getting it on when the
door blows open on them, cool air rushes through the doorway,
the man looks at her and says go shut the door, she responds
with hell no i’m cold, so the guy says well lets do it this
way, whichever one comes up with the best rhyme the other can
get up to shut the door is that agreed? she agrees, he lets her
go first so she says…
3 and 3 is 6 and 3 is nine i can tell the length of yours but
you can’t tell the depth of mine, he says thats good, now my turn
here goes..
3 and 3 is 6 and 3 is nine i can piss in yours but you can’t
piss in mine!
Author: admin
What do you calla Hindu
What do you calla Hindu dating service?
Connect the dots
Out of The circle
This blond in her new red corvette convertable pulled out in front of this 18 wheeler. The driver was furious and he told her to pull over. When she did he asked her why she pulled out in front of him and she didnt reply so he went to his truck pulled out a can of spray paint and made a circle. He said for her to stay in the circle and not step one foot out of it. He then went back to his truck and got a bat and started to trash her car. He turned and say her laughin. This just then made hijm even more furious and he hit the car more rapidly. He saw she kept laughing and just mutilated her car. Well he turned and asked her what was so funny and she said:
” I stepped outta the circle 3 times when you weren’t looking! “
Q: How many Sun
Q: How many Sun readers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, but one is enough to screw up the joke.
Untitled joke
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They usually screw in cars.
Qualified
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, “What would you like to discuss?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger. “How about nuclear power?”
“OK,” said Little Johnny. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.
A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
“Jeez,” said the stranger. “I have no idea.”
“Well, then,” said Little Johnny, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know crap?”
You might be an engineer if…
- At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burned out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.
- Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or to spend the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
- Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck gazing at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
- In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
- The Salespeople at the local computer store can’t answer any of your questions.
- You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
- You bought your wife a new CD ROM drive for her birthday.
- You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
- You can type 70 words per minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
- You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
- You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.
- You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
- You have more friends on the internet than in real life.
- You know what http:// stands for.
- You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids’ toys.
- You see a good design and still have to change it.
- You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
- You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it.
- You think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep.
- You window shop at Radio Shack.
- You’re both in the backseat of your car, she’s looking wistfully at the moon, and you’re trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.
- Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
- Your wife hasn’t the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
- You’ve already calculated how much you make per second.
- You’ve have tried to repair a $5 radio.
Does it rain much?
A visitor to Texas once asked, ”Does it ever rain out here?” ”Yes, it does,” replied the rancher. ”Do you remember that part in the Bible when it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?” ”Yes, I’m familiar with Noah’s flood,” the visitor said. ”Well,” said the rancher, ”we got two and a half inches during that spell.”
Un sacerdote y una monja
Un sacerdote y una monja se pierden en medio de una tormenta de nieve. Despu�s de caminar un rato, llegan a una caba�a peque�a. Totalmente agotados, se preparan para pasar la noche.
Hab�a una pila de mantas y una bolsa de dormir en el suelo, pero solamente una cama. Caballero aun en circunstancias extremas, el sacerdote indica:
“Hermana, usted duerma en la cama. Yo dormir� en el suelo, en la bolsa de dormir”.
Se mete dentro de ella, sube el cierre rel�mpago para cerrar la bolsa y comienza a quedarse dormido. Casi al instante la monja exclama:
“Padre, tengo fr�o”.
El cura sale dificultosamente de la bolsa de dormir, se levanta, busca una de las frazadas y cubre a la monja con ella. Acto seguido, retorna a la bolsa de dormir dispuesto a conciliar el sue�o, cuando la monja dice nuevamente:
“Padre, sigo teniendo mucho fr�o”.
El sacerdote, un tanto nervioso, repite la operaci�n anterior. Ni bien retorna nuevamente a la bolsa, ya pr�cticamente dormido, cuando lo interrumpe con lo mismo:
“Padre, me estoy congelando”.
Esta vez, el religioso no sale de su bolsa de dormir y habla, como pensando en voz alta:
“Hermana, tengo una idea. Estamos a muchos kil�metros de cualquier ser humano, alejados completamente de la civilizaci�n. �Por qu� no hacemos como si fu�ramos marido y mujer?”
“Por m� no hay problema”, contesta la religiosa con voz coqueta.
“�Entonces lev�ntate de la cama y b�scate tu propia manta!”, responde gritando el cura.
Life is what passes you
Life is what passes you by while you’re busy making other plans.
Country Newlyweds
A young farmer couple got married, and they just couldn’t seem to get enough
lovin’. Just before leaving the house for the fields at dawn, they made love,
and when the husband returned home at evening they had another go – both before
and after supper, and then again a few more times during the night.
The problems only happened during the day. The fields were far away from the
house and the young man lost half an hour each time traveling home and back
again at noon. Finally he decided to consult a friend, the town’s doctor, about
what to do.
“Easiest thing in the world, Homer” said the doctor. “You take your rifle out
with you every day don’t you? Well, when you feel like you’re in the mood for
some lovin’, just fire a shot into the air as a signal to your wife, for her to
come out to you. That way you won’t lose any working’ time.”
Homer tried his friend’s solution and it seemed to work pretty well for a
while. One day though, the doctor stopped by the house to pay a visit and he
noticed Homer sitting alone inside looking very somber.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Didn’t my idea work? Where’s your wife?”
“Oh, it worked,� says Homer. “Whenever I got in the mood I fired off a shot
like you said, and Beckie’d comes running’. Then we’d find a secluded place and
make love. Then Beckie’d go back home.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“Well I think I overdid it, Doc. I ain’t seen hide nor hair of Beckie since
hunting season got started…”
There’s a pothole in the
There’s a pothole in the road and you swerve . . . to hit it.Your Truck has more Neon on it than the window of your local bar.You argue to the government that the budwiser plant should be one of the 7 wonders of the world.