A Dog Named Sex

A Dog Named Sex Everyone that has a dog names him “Rover: or “Champ” or something like that. Well, I named my dog sex. Now… Sex has been very imbarrassing for me. When I went to city hall to get him a licence… I told the clerk that I would like a licence for sex. He said “I would like one too!” Then I said “But this a dog.” He said ” I don’t care what she looks like.” I said “You don’t understand, I’ve had sex since I was 9 years old.” He said, I must of been quite a kid. When I got married and went on my honeymoon I took the dog along with us. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife, myself and specail one for sex. He said “That every room was for sex.” I said “You don’t understand sex keeps me up at night.” He said “Me too!” One day I enter Sex in a contest. But, before the compitition began, the dog ran off. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing and looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should of sold tikets.”But you don’t understand” I said ” I had hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a show off!When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said “Your Honor, I have had Sex before we were married.” The judge said “Me too.” Then I told him after I was married Sex left me.” He said “Me too!” Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over and asked me “What are you doing in this alley at 4 a.m. in the morning?” I said ” I was looking for Sex.” The casse comes up on Frieday!!!

Clinton & Jerry Falwell

Jerry Falwell, a well-known religious protector of ‘public decency’, was
seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was
airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked
for a whiskey and soda, which were brought and placed before him. The flight
attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The minister
replied in disgust, “Ma’am, I’d rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than
let liquor touch these lips!”
The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “I’m
sorry, I didn’t know there was a choice…”

women’s t-shirt with slogan

Slogans for women’s T-shirts:� I’m out of estrogen – I have a gun.� Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?� I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.� Next mood swing: six minutes.� And your point is?� I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.� I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.� Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.� Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time.� Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?� I’m multi-talented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.� Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.� You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP� All stressed out and no one to choke.� I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.� How can I miss you if you won’t go away?� Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.� Objects under this shirt are larger than they appear.

Redneck computer

Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer.

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is “Huntin”.

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

1. The mouse is referred to as a “critter”.