Author: admin

I Want A Little Pussy

Posted on by admin

A certain virginal and shy college freshman was lucky to have a roommate who was considerably more experienced. When the bashful boy broke down and explained his predicament, his roommate was quick to offer to set him up with a blonde who’d made the rounds of the campus.

Just take this bimbo out to dinner and a show, and then let nature take its course, he explained reassuringly. This girl knows what the score is, and she’s even a natural blonde.

The roommate arranged the date as promised. The freshman was delighted by his cute, outgoing companion and they spent the evening dining and dancing. On the way home he parked his car in a dark lane, broke out in a cold sweat, and blurted out, “Gosh, I sure would love to have a little pussy.”

“I would too,” sighed the blonde, “Mine’s the size of a goddamn milk pail.”

The Harmless Weirdo

Posted on by admin

At first, you think the Harmless Weirdo is adorably eccentric, offbeat, and intelligent–an iconoclast, really. Yes, he has a few unusual quirks and mannerisms, but he’s no boring, cookie-cutter frat boy. In short, he’s totally unlike any other man you’ve ever dated, which strikes you as a good thing.

Your view changes, radically, the evening you proudly introduce him to your friends. In front of everyone you know, your new suitor relates an anecdote about a bus trip he once took that goes on forever and has no apparent pont. THen, when the conversation turns to politics, he hijacks it, launching into a long, unstoppable tirade about the unacknowledged link between diet soda and brain damage. In a moment of sickening clarity, you become aware that you are dating a deeply odd individual. He’s the nerd from chemistry class, traveling incognito thanks to a pair of chinos from the GAP.

Moments after this revelation, you put dumping him on the top of your to-do list. But the Harmless Weirdo isn’t exactly attuned to social clues and fundamentally doesn’t understand he’s being ditched. Long after you’ve shown him the door, he’ll still call and drop by with no warning, as though nothing has changed. Although he’s not physically threatening, psychologically, he’s a menace. He’s a reminder that at times, your judgement can be very poor, indeed.

Little Red Riding Hood

Posted on by admin

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.

“My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf,” says Little Red Riding Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!

Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again-this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.

“My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf, ” says Little Red Riding Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away!

About two miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.

“My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf,” taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, “Will you get lost?
I’m trying to take a shit!”

Debate the stop sign

Posted on by admin

A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop.After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn’t stop, he just slowed down a little.The gentleman said ‘Stop or slow down, what’s the difference?’.The cop pulled the guy out of the car and hit him with a nightstick for about a minute and then said, ‘Would you like for me to stop or just slow down?’

Condom Usage

Posted on by admin

A very proper man started going into the neighbourhood pharmacy every week to buy 2 dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week he would come in with the same order.One day the pharmacist felt he had to say something to the man.”Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting lucky! How on earth do you use that many condoms a week?”The man looked at him in disgust and said, “I beg your pardon, but I find the whole idea of sex repulsive!””So,” the pharmacist asked, “then what do you do with all those condoms?”The gentleman answered, “I feed them to my poodle and now she poops in little plastic bags.”