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A redhead walks into a bar. She walks up to the bartender and says, “I’d like a RW, please.”
The bartender says, “What’s a RW, might I inquire?”
“Red Wine, Duh!”
The bartender serves her her drink. A brunette walks into the bar. “I’d like a WW, please.”
“A WW is… what?”
“White Wine, Duh!”
Bartender serves her _her_ drink. In walks a blonde. “I’d like a Fifteen, please.”
“What the HELL is a fifteen?”
“Seven and seven, Duh!”
What do you call it when you have a hard time breathing through
your ass?
?
?
Assma!
Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to:
10. Tommy Lee’s———- Camp Kickachickee
9. Lorena Bobbit’s—— Camp Cutaweewee
8. Tanya Harding’s—— Camp Wackaneenee
7. Kenneth Star’s——- Camp Catchacrookee
6. Louis Farakahn’s—– Camp Killawhitey
5. O.J. Simpson’s——- Camp Killachickee
4. Michael Jackson’s—- Camp Wannabewhitey
3. President Clinton’s– Camp Getahoochie
2. Ellen Degeneras’s—- Camp Lickacoochie
And the number one camp not to send your kid to:
1. Monica Lewinsky’s—- Camp Suckapeepee
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
A man moves from Ireland to New York City, leaving two of his best friends behind to make it in America. To keep their tradition of nightly drinks alive, every night he goes into an Irish-style pub and orders three pints. The bartender, after a month of this, becomes curious, and asks the man what he’s doing. Touched by the story, the bartender has the 3 pints ready for the man every time he comes in. One day, the man tells the bartender to only give him 2 pints. “My condolences,” says the bartender, thinking that one of the man’s friends has died.”No, no,” says the man, “they’re both still alive. I’ve just quit drinking.”
A new mortuary in a tough mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion, and so draped a banner on the front of their building that read:
“Our Staff will stuff your Stiff.”
Not to be outdone, the madame across the street had her girls respond with a banner too:
“Our Stuff will stiff your Staff.”
Dad: “You’re always asking questions. I’d like to know what would have
happened if I’d asked as many questions when I was a boy.”
Son: “Maybe you’d have been able to answer some of mine today�.
your mammas so fat she has more chins then a chinese phone book
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and
during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. “Tarzan not
know sex,” he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said, “Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.”
Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to
do it properly.”
She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. “Here,” she said. “You
must put it in here.”
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then
gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for
what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and
screamed, “What did you do that for?”
“Tarzan check for bees.”
Hillary and Chelsea are sitting around the table having a mother/daughter talk.
Hillary asks Chelsea, “You have been going to college for awhile now. Have you had sex yet?”
Chelsea says, “Well, not according to Dad.”
Jack was first up in his foursome. Eyeing the ball, he swung his club and hooked his shot over the fence and down a road where the ball crashed through the windshield of an oncoming car.
The startled driver lost control of his vehicle, and it spun into a parking lot and bounced off three cars.
Jack raced over to the crash scene and was relieved to find that no one was hurt. Almost immediately, a policeman arrived and approached Jack, who was standing next to the
crashed car, eyeing his ball.
“Just what are you going to do
about this?” demanded the policeman.
Jack looked up and said, “Well, the first thing I’m going to do is change my grip.”
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.