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A Baptist preacher and a catholic preacher are driving out on a road.

The catholic preacher sees a cat in the middle of the road, and slams on his brakes. The cat is avoided, but the Baptist preacher hits the back of the catholic preacher.

They step out of their cars, and begin talking. “Oh, I am so sorry, that was my fault,” says the Baptist preacher.

While waiting for the cops after they called by cell phone, the preachers soon start talking about their professions to pass the time.

“You know, I never understood why catholic preachers don’t drink wine to represent Christ’s blood.” The catholic preacher responds, “Well, we believe that drinking wine is wrong, and just use grape juice instead.” “I have a bottle of wine in my glove compartment right now. Tell you what, let’s drink a little right now while waiting for the cops.”

“Oh, no I couldn’t, replies the catholic, but after pressuring him, the catholic preacher soon agrees.

The Baptist preacher takes out the wine and a couple of Dixie cups, and pours a little into each. The catholic preacher drinks it down quickly. “That wasn’t that bad, you’re right,” the catholic preacher says. Noticing the baptist hasn’t drank his wine, he asks, “Aren’t you going to have some?”

“Oh sure,” the other replies, “I’ll wait until after the cops come though.”

Adam was wandering around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, when he heard a loud voice ask him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to, and he was feeling very lonely.

Then the loud voice said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. The voice continued, saying; “this person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed.”

Adam thought that sounded great, so he asked “What would a woman like this cost me??”

The voice answered, “an arm and a leg.”

Adam thought about that for a moment. He thought that would be a pretty high price to pay, so he then asked, “What can I get for just a
rib???”

The rest is history . . .

Un ingeniero muere y como debe ser, llega al cielo. Toca la puerta del para�so y sale San Pedro: “�Hola!, �t� a qu� te dedicabas en vida?”

“�Yo?, soy ingeniero.”

“�Ingeniero? mmm… no, �sos no entran aqu�, no est�s en la lista.”

Como no el quedaba de otra, el ingeniero fue a tocar a las puertas del infierno:

“Hola, vengo porque no me aceptaron en el cielo.”

“Ah �no? �y qu� eres?”

“Soy ingeniero.”

“�Ingeniero? �pasa, pasa!”

Despu�s de estar varios meses soportando el calor, la peste a azufre, las largas caminatas, y dem�s inconvenientes del infierno, el ingeniero decidi� hacer algunas mejoras, as� que al poco tiempo el infierno contaba ya con aire acondicionado, ventiladores para sacar el espantoso olor, escaleras el�ctricas, etc. Al cabo de un a�o, cuando Dios no o�a ninguna queja del infierno, habl� para ver como andaban las cosas:

“Hola Satan�s.”

“Hola Dios.”

“�C�mo van las cosas?”

“Uy, van de maravilla, con aquel ingeniero que mandaste…”

“�INGENIERO?, eso debe estar mal, te ordeno que me lo regreses, fue un error.”

“Ah no, eso s� no, el ingeniero es m�o.”

“�O me lo regresas o te demando!”

Se oye la risa burlona de Satan�s:

“�Ja ja ja!… �demandarme? �Y de d�nde vas a sacar a un abogado para eso?”