What is your name and what did you do?

Some kids got introble at the zoo,so the maniger asks each kid what is your name and what did you do.The man ask saly and saly said i through Penuts into the elafant pen.then he askd james and james said i thourgh penuts in the elefant pen.then he ask fran and fran said i thourgh penuts in the elafant pen.Then he asks penuts and penut said….they through me in the elefant pen!:)(sorry cant spell)

Hunchback

HUNCHBACK’S WIFE: I’m getting worried about that back of yours. It looks really awful. Perhaps you should see a doctor. Eventually, after a lot of persuasion the Huchback goes to the doctor.

DOCTOR: I want you to get undressed. ( Hunchback removes jacket then stops)

HUNCHBACK: I don’t like getting undressed.

DOCTOR: If you want me to examine your back you’ll have to get undressed. ( Hunchback removes his shirt but leaves his vest on.)

HUNCHBACK: I don’t like showing people my back. They always laugh at me.

DOCTOR: Do you want me to examine your back or not? ( Very reluctantly the hunchback removes his vest ( woollen undergarment in UK ))

DOCTOR: How long is it since you were at school?

HUNCHBACK: Over 30 years. Why?

DOCTOR: Did you ever wonder what happened to your backpack?

Clocks in Heaven

A man passed away and went to heaven. When the man arrived at the pearly
gates, St. Peter said, “Come on in. I’ll show you around. You’ll like it here”.
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were
grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It
appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.
Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked St. Peter what the deal was. Why
are all these clocks here in heaven? St Peter replied, the clocks keep track of
things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on
earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute. For instance, this clock is for
Sam, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move. Click. The
minute hand on Sam’s clock moved one minute. Click. It moved another minute. Sam
must be into closing a customer right now said St. Peter. The minute hand on his
clock moves all day.
The man and St Peter continued walking. Soon they came to a clock with cobwebs
on the minute hand. Whose clock is this” asked the man. That clock belongs to
the Widow Mary. She is one of the finest, God-fearing people on earth. I bet her
clock hasn’t moved in a year or two.
They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks
of all of his friends. When the tour was over the man said, ” I’ve seen
everyone’s clock but President Clinton’s. Where is his clock?”
Saint Peter smiled, “Just look up. We use his clock for a ceiling fan!”

Suzy Brown

There once was a girl named Suzy Brown
Who thought no body could lay her down
Over the hill came pissball Pete with forty feet of swinging meat
He took her in the long green grass
Stuck his dick right up her ass
Suzy Brown let go a fart
Blew his balls 40 feet apart
Over the hill came pissball Pete
with 40 feet of shredded meat.