a girl called shagg alot was in a room with the milkman and they were in bed and the mam cam in and sed shaggalot
Author: admin
An Invitation
“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.””What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!””I know all that.””Then why did you invite a friend for supper?””Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
Do You Serve Lawyers
A man walked into a bar, leading an alligator by a leash.
He asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Sure do,” said the bartender.
“Good,” replied the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my ‘gator.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Fat
How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
Add a nipple.
2 blondes and a brun
there were 2 blondes and 1 burnet hanging form a pole the pole was starting to bend so one of them had to let go but the all refused so the burnet stars telling the 2 blondes a long sympathetic story about how she will jump and let them live at the end of the story the 2 blondes let go to clap!!!
Your Order
“May I take your order?” the waiter asked.
“Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?”
“Nothing special, sir,” he replied. “We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”
Terrorist Midwife
Q: What is the difference between a midwife and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
You are wasting your time.
You are wasting your time.
Get Me Another Lawyer
Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.
Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant’s
motion?
Public Defender: I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.
One of Many
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up. When it was finished, she
asked her gynecologist how everything was. He said he was pleased and that she
was in great shape, and that she was pregnant.
“No way!” she exclaimed, but he assured her she was most definitely pregnant.
She stormed out of the examining room, grabbed the receptionist’s phone, and
dialed the private line in the Oval Office.
When Bill answered the phone, she shouted, “I can’t believe it! I’m pregnant!
You got me pregnant!”
The president didn’t say anything, and she screamed, “Didn’t you hear me?? I’m
pregnant! You got me pregnant!”
Hesitantly, the president asked, “Um…who IS this?”
Love to Fish
A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide. One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
“Yes, but you know how I love to fish…”
“But aren’t you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?”
“Yes, but she’s got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish”
A few hours later, “I understand, but that’s not the only way to have sex.”
“I know, but she’s got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish…”
The following day: “Sure, but that’s still not the only way to have sex.”
“Yeah, but she’s got phyrrea(mouth rot); and you know how I love to fish…”
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: “I guess I’m not sure why you’d marry someone with health problems like that.”
“It’s ’cause she’s also got worms; and you know I just love to fish…”
Asphalt
Your momma so dumb she though asphalt was a butt disease!