With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society…. DIRECTRA – a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA – Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. CHILDAGRA – Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks – especially cleaning up spills and ‘little accidents.’ COMPLIMENTRA – In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing. BUYAGRA – Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store’s return limit. NEGA-VIAGRA – Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents. NEGA-SPORTAGRA – This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members. FLATULAGRA – This complex drug converts men’s noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides. FLYAGRA – This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Expecially useful for men on Viagra. PRYAGRA – About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into ‘special prosecutors.’ LIAGRA – This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.
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Snotral
There was a guy walking down the road when he saw a red head he said wow that is bautefull hair how did you get it that way she rubbed her hair and said it’s natral and walked away.Next he came to a brown haired lady and said that is bautefull hair how did you get it that way she rubbed her hair and said it’s natral and walked away.then he came to a green haired lady( she’s the blonde) and said that is neat green hair how did you get it that way she rubbed her hair and said it’s snotral.
Dildo Patch
Two gay guys are in a bathroom using the urinals. The one guy
looks at the other guy’s penis and notices there’s a Nicoderm
patch on it. He turns to the guy and says, “I believe you’re
supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your
penis.” The other guy replies, “It’s working just fine. I’m down
to 2 butts a day.”
Play ball!
What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?
Play ball!
Rooster race
One man goes and buys a new rooster cause the rooster that he has is old already and roosters take care of the chickens. So the old man buys a young rooster, he brings him home and tells the rooster to kick out the old rooster. The rooster goes in and tells the old rooster to leave cause he is taking over. The old rooster tells him I will race for it. The young rooster looks at him and laughs. The young rooster asks were are we goin to race too. The old rooster tells him around the house and back. The young rooster says okay. The young rooster tells the old rooster that he will give him a 10 sec. head-start so the old rooster takes off as they pass the corner the old rooster is ahead the the owner shoots the young rooster and says thats the third time this month that I have bought a gay cock.
Blonde
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch-and-snif sticker on the bottom of the pool.
“Straighteners”
A blonde walked in a barber shop, and headed towards the counter. Once she got there, she asked the clerk for a straightener. The clerk at the blonde, confused.
“Why? Your hair is perfectly straight!” the clerk asked.
The blonde answered, “My friend is gay, but she wants to be straight and I was told you could get “straighteners” here!”
Leprechaun
This guy was playing a round of golf on his favorite golf course. On the
sixth he hit the ball out of bounds into a wooded area. As he searched for
the ball he saw a leprechaun sitting down holding his head, the ball had
hit him on the groin. He went over to the leprechaun and asked him if he
was ok.
The leprechaun looked at him and said, “Ok you’ve got me, I know you want
wishes, what are they?”
The man said that he didn’t want any wishes and that he just wanted to
make sure that he was ok. The leprechaun said that he was okay and walked
away surprised. The man picked up his ball and went about continuing his
golf.
Later that day the leprechaun was thinking about what had happened and
said to himself what a nice guy and that he would give him wishes anyway.
He said to himself, “I will give him what any man wants: lots of money, a
great golf game and a great sex life.”
A year later the guy was playing the same golf course and played the exact
same shot at the same hole. As he looked for the ball he had hit the
leprechaun again. He said sorry and the leprechaun remembered him. The
leprechaun asked him if anything had changed in the past year.
“How are things financially?” the leprechaun asked. “Great,” said the guy,
“I always seem to have lots of money.”
“How about the golf?” “Incredible,” said the guy, “I haven’t been over par
since I met you last.”
“And what about the sex life, are you getting enough?” The guy looked
around sheepishly, “As a matter a fact, I must be getting laid at least
once a week.”
The leprechaun looked surprised and asked, “Is that all?”
“It’s not bad for a priest in a small village.” the guy replied.
Fishing joke
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. ‘Let’s see yer fishin’ license, Boy!’ the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. ‘Well, son,’ said the Game Warden, ‘you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!’ ‘Yes, sir,’ replied the young guy, ‘but my friend back there, well, he don’t have one.’
daughter needs a pro
One day a daughter went to her father and asked for a prom dress. The father said, “if you give me a blowjob I will bye you the prettiest dress in the store!” She said “your gross dad” and went on her way. Two weeks before the prom she again asked her father for the dress, he replied “you know what to do, if you give me a blowjob, you will get the dress!” She again replied “your sick dad” and went on her way. Three days before the prom she again asked her dad for the dress, he again said “you know what to do to get the dress” except this time she agreed! After she got through giving him a blowjob she said “damn dad, your dick taste like shit!” He said ” I know, your brother needed to barrow the car!
Offended
Three honeymoon couples find themselves in adjacent rooms in a hotel.
As they are getting undressed, the first man says to his wife, “What huge buttocks!” Much offended, she threw him into the corridor.
The second man, also undressing, says to his wife, “Christ! What huge tits!.”
She is also greatly offended and throws him out into the corridor.
Several minutes later, the third newlywed husband arrives in the corridor as well.
The other two ask, “What happened? Did you put your foot in it?”
“No, but I could have!” the third man replied.
License Plate
There is a little Mercedes 280 SL in Toronto being driven by a gorgeous blonde and the plate reads:WAS HIS