A kid walked into his new classroom, and the teacher says to him, “Hello,
what’s your name?” And the kid says, “Jeffrey Fuckhour.” The teacher told
him that she doesn’t allow that kind of language in her classroom. Jeffrey
tells her again that his last name is really “Fuckhour” and that she can
go ask his little brother in kindergarden. So the teacher tells her class
to read chapter 4 while she goes to find Jeffrey’s little brother. She
walks into a kindergarden class, where the teacher had stepped out for a
moment and wasn’t there, so she asks, “Hi class, is there a Fuckhour in
here?” One of the kids yells out “No! Theres not even a cookie break!”
Author: admin
Three soldiours
three soldiours were in hospital beds and the queen comes to visit them
she goes up to the first man whats wrong with you she says. scabs all over my stomach he says whats the cure she says.wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says. to get back out and fight for my country he says.
goes up to the second man.whats wrong with you she says.scabs all over my face he says.whats the cure she says.wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says to get back out and fight for my coutry he says
she goes up to the third man whats wrong with you she says.scabs all over my mouth he says.whats the cure she says wired brush and dettol he says.whats youre ambition she says to get the wired brush before these bastards he said
Dead donkey
What did the farmer say when his donkey died?
“He’s never done that before.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
How do you know you’re at a gay BBQ?…
How do you know you’re at a gay BBQ?
The hotdogs taste like shit!
Dictionary of
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward. SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid. OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.
Sign on restaurant window: “Don’t
Sign on restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.” Sign in a bowling alley: “Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.” Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: “Get a `long` little doggie!” Sign in a cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want.”Sign on a music library’s door: “Bach in a minuet.”
Ur Momma!!
Ur momma is so fat, she uses a tree as a dildo!!
Your Funeral
There were three men sitting on a bench. Man1 asked the other two:
“What do you want your family and friends to say at your funeral?”.
Man2 says, “I guess I’d want them to say I was a nice guy and I took care of my family”.
Man3 says, “I’d want them to say things like that too”.
Man1 said “Really? I’d want them to say… LOOK! HE’S MOVING!”.
After having their 11th child, an Alabama…
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
Enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a
cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a
beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, “I may not be the smartest man,
but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.”
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia
physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a
vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor
instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it,
place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both of the physicians couldn’t be wrong, the man
Went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can
up To his ear and began to count.
“1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . “, at which point he paused, placed the beer
can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
Young Couple in Louisiana
A honeymooning couple was passing through Louisiana. When they were approaching Lafayette, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they got to the town, where they decided to stop for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, the man said, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us. Would you very slowly pronounce where we are.”
The guy behind the corner leaned over and said, “Burrrrrrrr gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing”
Yo mama so poor…
Yo mama so poor, I stepped on her old banged-up skateboard and she yelled, “Get off my car!”
Cake Anyone?
A man was sitting with a few beers watching T.V.
When his wife came home she opened the door to the house and said to her husband “Honey could please fix this door, it’s gonna fall off”. He replied “Do I look like I have Mitre10 on my head”
She said nothing. Later she asked him to fix the ladder so she could change the light bulb and he said “Do I look like I have HandyMan on my head?.
Then she asked if he could wash the car and he said to her “Do I look like I have Shell Service station on my head”?
He became so mad he said “I’m sick of you, get out of my way – I’m going to the pub”.
When he came home late that night he noticed the door, light and car had all been fixed.
“How did you do that”? he asked his wife.
She told him that when she had been sitting on the doorstep crying when he left and a nice man asked if he could help her. She told him what had happened and he said that all she had to do for payment was bake him a cake or have sex with him.
Her husband asked “What kind of cake did you make”
To which she replied “Do I look like I have BettyCrocker on my head”?