Author: admin

Neighbors had complained to the mayor about the noisy pub on the corner of 3rd & Lambourne. Seems that the old cronies got together every friday & saturday, played cards, drank beer, told lies and jokes until 2am Saturday morning, when the pub had to close.

Officer Redding, parked down the street was not amused. He checked his watch, noted it was 01:55, time for the old drunks to start leaving. If he hadn’t been assigned this crap detail he’d be down at the I-80 Truck stop about now having a nice hot cup of coffee. Redding pulled out a cigarette and was about to light up when the door of the pub slammed open and an old geezer stumbled out. Redding put the smoke back in the pack; he was “on point” now.

The old man stumbled around, fished his car keys out of his pocket, dropped them a couple of times, finally found them and weaved down the sidewalk and across the road to his car.

Redding started his engine, watching carefully as the old man fumbled to unlock his door. Other patrons leaving the pub seemed a little tipsy, but nothing like the old goat trying to get into his car. As soon as the old man’s car started to pull away from the curb, Redding was on him like a hound on a bone, siren, redlights and loudspeaker. Redding wanted these complaining neighbors to know the city was doing it’s job.

“Outta the car, old man!” demanded Redding. “But officer, I haven’t had anything to drink!” complained the old boy. “Sure, you haven’t, oldtimer, sure you haven’t”, replied Redding as he put the cuffs on the old guy and hauled him downtown.

At the station, the old man blew into the breathalyzer and the needle didn’t move. “What the…YOU haven’t been drinking, old timer!”

But that’s what I tried to tell you back there, officer!” “Well then why were you stumbling all over the place?” asked Redding. “Well, officer, tonight when we all got to the pub, they elected me to be the ‘designated drunk’ when the place closed down!”

Three guys are riding in their truck, drinking beer, having a good ol’ time.

The driver looks in the mirror and sees the flashing lights of a police car so he pulls over.

The other two are real nervous, “What do we do with our beers? We’re in trouble!”

“No,” the driver says, “just do this: pull the label off of your beer bottle and stick it to your forehead and let me do the talking.”

So they all pull the labels off their beer bottles and stick ’em to their foreheads.

The policeman walks up and says, “You boys were swerving down the road. Have you been drinking?”

The driver says, “Oh, no officer,” and points to his forehead, “we’re on the patch, trying to quit.”

Si se te acaban las frases para saludar, aqu� hay varias:

�Qu� ondita con el pandita?

�Qu� Pachuca por Toluca?

�Qu� Pachuca por Ac�mbaro?

�Qu� hongo champi��n?

�Qu� epazotes con los elotes?

�Qu� rollo, Goyo?

�Qu� Honduras mi Nicaragua?

�Qu� Pedro, Pablo?

�Qu� pez, marqu�s?

�Qu� transita por tu avenida?

�Qu� transita por tus venas?

�C�mo has Estados Unidos?

�C�mo estanques?

�Qu� pasotes con esos zapatotes?

�Qu� trampa, cazador?

�Te conozco, Orozco?

�Qu� ond�n, Ram�n?

�C�mo estanques mi pescado?

�Qu� transa?

�Qu� pex, marqu�s?

�Qu� pez, Aquaman?

�Qu� transa, Carranza?

Frases m�s estructuradas; estas apl�calas cuando quieras echarle m�s calabaza a tus legumbres.

1) �Qu� Honduras con las verduras que andan bajas las temperaturas? �Yo pens� que ya estabas morongas, pero nopales est�s bien vivorobas!

2) �Qu� ondita con el pandita que se trag� una viborita?

3) �Qu� hongo, jorongo, tepetongo, morongo?