Author: admin

66

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a brunette was jogging down the street saying “66,66,66” etc. a blonde comes up behind her asking her “why are you saying 66.”
The bruette says “It helps me jog better.”
So, the blonde goes across the street and starts saying “66,66” etc. The brunette yells “Its alot easier if you do it in the street.”
So, the blonde goes in the middle of the street saying “66” all of a sudden a truck comes up and hits her.
The brunette keeps jogging down the road saying “67,67,67”

Your Clock’s Spinning

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A guy dies and goes to heaven. It’s a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing
the entrance test, St. Peter says, “I’m not very busy today, why don’t you let
me show you around?” The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts
the offer.

St. Peter shows him all the sights – the golf course, the reading room and
library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE
room full of clocks. The guy asks, “What’s up with these clocks?”

St. Peter explains, “Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he
has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to
the Gates to be judged.” The guy thinks this makes sense but notices that some
of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why is that?

St. Peter explains, “Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds his
clock.”

This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before
leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both
hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, “What’s the story with
that clock?”

“Oh, that,” St. Peter replies, “That’s President Clinton’s clock. We decided
to use it as a fan.”

Clinton has a Dream

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Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at Martha’s Vineyard. Hillary
wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. “Bill, Bill wake up.” Bill
stays sleeping. Hillary continues, “Bill, Bill wake up”. Bill finally wakes
up and says, “What do you want?” Hillary responds, “I have to go use the
bathroom”. To which Bill says, “Please tell me you didn’t wake me up just to
tell me you have to go to the bathroom.” Hillary says, “No, I just wanted to
tell you to save my spot”.

Magical Jungle

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Once upon a time, there was a magical jungle called Mimbubu. In this magical jungle there lived a tribe of Amazon Pygmies.Legend has it that the Mimbubu jungle was inhabited by an evil and deadly bird, the Foo bird. The tribe tells the story of how the Foo bird stalks its prey while passing unaware through the Mimbubu jungle, and when the unsuspecting victim is least aware, the Foo bird lays a single bird dropping on them. Now the bird dropping proves no harm, but to the unfortunate victim, removing or brushing off the bird dropping results in instantaneous DEATH!!! Needless to say, the people of Mimbubu spend their entire lives covered in bird droppings from the Foo bird.And what, you might ask, is their tribe motto?”If the Foo shits, wear it.”

Get weighed

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edJoe took his blonde blind date to a seaside carnival. ‘What would you like to do first, Kim?’ asked Joe.’I want to get weighed,’ she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser, who guessed 70 kg. Kim got on the scale and it read 67 kg and she won a prize. .Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over,Joe again asked Kim what she wanted to do next. ‘I want to get weighed,’ she said. Back to the weight guesser they went and because she’d been there before the man guessed Kim’s correct weight and Joe lost his dollar.Kim and Joe walked around the carnival and again he asked, ‘Where to next?’ Kim responded: ‘I want to get weighed,’ but by this time Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.Her flatmate, Laura, asked Kim about her blind date, ‘How’d it go?’ she asked.Kim said, ‘Oh, Waura, it was wousy.’