Author: admin

Colored Penis

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A fellow went to the doctor one day and said, “Doc, I have a problem. My penis is red.”

Doctor replied, “Drop your pants, let me take a look. Ummm…yes, no problem, we can have you fixed up in no time, $40.”

The fellow was impressed. Told his friend of the experience and that he hadn’t been to a doctor for only $40 for quite a spell.
His friend said, “Really? I have a similar problem. What doctor did you go to?”

So his friend goes to the same doctor and tells him, “Doc, George recommended you…you’ve got to help me. My penis is blue.”

Doc asks to take a look. “Ah yes… Ummm… Yep, we can take care of it, no problem, $400.”

“FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS?” Wait a MINUTE! You took care of George for only $40.”

“Yes, I did. But George’s penis had lipstick on it. Yours has gangrene!”

Drinking Buddies

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Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City.
They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says “So
where are you from, then?”
“I’m from Ireland.”
“Me too! I’ll drink to that.” They both finish their pints and order two
more.
“Where in Ireland are you from?”
“Dublin.”
“Me too! I’ll drink to that.” They both finish their pints and order two
more.
“Where in Dublin are you from?”
“The East Side.”
“The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I’ll drink to that!” They both
finish their pints and order two more.
“Where on the East Side are you from?”
“McDonough Street.”
“Me too! This is incredible! I’ll drink to that.”
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar
says to him, “That’s amazing! I can’t believe they’re from the same street in
Dublin. What’s going on?”
“Oh, it’s nothing amazing,” says the bartender,� it�s just the Ferguson twins
getting sloshed again.”

Afraid of the Dark

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A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”