13> Well, *something’s* controlling the little people inside that big box.
12> Plumbers can’t find source of that blood leak.
11> Every morning your 14-year-old son wakes up in a pool of what appears to be ectoplasm.
10> There’s red stuff oozing from the walls, and even though it *is* the old Heinz family mansion, you’re still plenty freaked.
9> Note on fridge: “GET OUT!!! (and we’re out of Dijon mustard)”
8> You live alone, yet when you sing in the shower you get back-up vocals in four-part harmony.
7> Jerry Garcia is always demanding the last slice of pizza.
6> Every night at midnight, your dog starts whining and licking your hand and– wait a minute, YOU DON’T HAVE A DOG!
5> The toilet’s talking in tongues.
4> Bloody body parts on floor spell “Get out!” And you’re pretty sure that when you left them they spelled “Try and stop me!”
3> The trash takes itself to the curb every Thursday morning when it knows damn well that trash day is Wednesday.
2> The source of that squeaky noise? Squirrels in tinfoil hats.
1> The eyes in that creepy portrait follow you across the room, down the hall, through the garage door, into the car, and buckle themselves into the passenger seat.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]