Did you here about the pharmaceutical company?
They developed a new drug that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent and become a nun.
The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.
Author: admin
Yo mama is so fat
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean…..
What’s the favorite food of a Black/Italian…
What’s the favorite food of a Black/Italian halfbreed?
– Barbequed spaghetti.
Peugot V's Gol B
What’s the difference between a peugot and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball 200yards!
What's Wrong Wit
The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.””Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.””Okay,” said the man.”Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
Be Careful What you Wish For
Two guys of limited intellegence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water.
On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an oil lamp (the kind the genies come in).
They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. “POOF” out popped a tired old genie who said “ok.. so you freed me from this stupid lamp, yadda, yadda, yadda. But hey, I’ve been doing this 3 wishes stuff for a long time now and quite frankly, I’m burned out. You guys get only ONE wish and then I’m OUTTA here. Make it a good one”.
The first guy, without hesitation or thought blurted out, “Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!!!”
“Fine” said the genie, and he instantly turned the entire ocean into beer.
“Great move Einstein!” said the second guy, slapping the first guy in the head. “NOW we’re gonna have to piss in the BOAT!”
The guide to wife translations
The wife says: Are you listening to me?The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]The wife says: YesThe wife means: NoThe wife says: NoThe wife means: NoThe wife says: MaybeThe wife means: NoThe wife says: I’m sorryThe wife means: You’ll be sorryThe wife says: Do you like this recipe?The wife means: You better get used to itThe wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dishThe wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.The wife says: Was that the baby?The wife means: Get out of bed and walk himThe wife says: I’m not yelling!The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
Bobby’s Favorite Joke
Three Gay Men Die
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the
same time,and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, ‘My Benny loved to fly, so I’m going up
in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky.’
The second man said, ‘My Carl was a good fisherman, so I’m
going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake
The third man (Bobby) said, ‘My Jim was such a good lover, I think
I’m
going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my
ass up just one more time.
Watertown, New York:…
Watertown, New York:
It was eagle-eyed zookeepers who noticed first. The DNA testing only
proved what they already suspected.
The Thompson Park Zoo’s American bald eagle breeding program was going
nowhere. Not with two males, anyway.
“We had our suspicions right away. The birds are virtually the identical
size,” said Director Glenn D. Dobrogosz, who laughed Tuesday about the
gender mix-up that provided a comical start to the zoo’s new eagle
breeding program.
“It happens. Not a lot. But it happens,” he said.
The two American bald eagles – supposedly a male and female – arrived at
the zoo last July from the Bird Treatment and Learning Center in
Anchorage, Alaska.
The two males became good buddies but zookeepers quickly realized there
would be no amorous flights for these two, Dobrogosz said.
Because bald eagle males and females share the same coloring
characteristics, it is difficult to determine gender by visual inspection.
However, in most raptor species, the female is slightly larger than the
male, he said.
Based on their size and behavior, the Alaska center mistakenly thought it
had sent a male and a female, Dobrogosz said. It wasn’t until the Thompson
Park Zoo took blood samples for DNA testing that it confirmed the birds’
sexes.
“Sure enough, they both were boys,” he said.
Now that the confusion has been cleared up, zookeepers are once again
focused on the romancing.
One of the males is being sent to the Clinch Park Zoo in Traverse City,
Mich. Meanwhile, the Watertown zoo already has received a new female from
another raptor rehabilitation center on Sitka Island in Alaska.
“We’re positive this time,” Dobrogosz said, heading off the inevitable
inquiry about the bird’s gender.
What Appointment?
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.”
The husband, rejected but still quite horny, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
This time he whispers in her ear, “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?.”
A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor…
A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.”Miss Jones,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”
We reserve the right to
We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone.