Author: admin

one day a man came to a new town, wentto the library and said, “could i havea book on butterflys. i loooove butterflys.”” the librarian screamed “”satan is here! everybody get him!”” so he ran & ran to the mueseum & said “” do you have a butterfly exibit?i loooove butterflys.”” the man says “”satan is here! everybody get him!”” and the man runs and runs. then he goes to a bar & the bartender says “”you look like you got a problem. wanna talk about it?”” the man says “”all day i’v been trying to find stuff about butterflys and everyone calls me satan and chases me away.”” then the man gets chased out into the street and gets hit by a car. what’s the morel of this story? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > always look both ways before crossing the street. DUH!

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An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During
one Sunday’s sermon he told them, “If one more person confesses to adultery,
I’ll quit!”

Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: “fallen.” >From
then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had “fallen.” This
satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for
years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.

Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor.
The priest was quite concerned. “You have to do something about the sidewalks in
this town, Mayor. You can’t believe how many people come into the confessional
talking about having fallen!” The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one
had explained their code word to the new priest.

But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor
and said, “I don’t know why you’re laughing; your wife fell three times last
week!”

Un ni�o entra al consultorio de un ginec�logo y, ante la sorpresa de la secretaria, pide hablar con el m�dico.

La secretaria le explica que ese m�dico, en especial, s�lo atend�a a se�oras, y que seguramente se hab�a equivocado. El ni�o insiste de tal manera, que a la secretaria no le queda otro remedio que decirle al m�dico lo que ocurr�a, y �ste, por curiosidad, lo hace pasar al consultorio.

Una vez adentro el ni�o le pregunta: “�doctor, una mujer de 5 a�os puede quedar embarazada?”

El m�dico con una sonrisa le responde que no. El ni�o insiste nuevamente: “�est� Ud. seguro, doctor?”

Cansado por tanta insistencia del ni�o le responde: “yo soy m�dico y te garantizo con total seguridad que lo que me preguntas es imposible”.

A lo que el ni�o responde: “�hija de puta!”

Extra�ado, el facultativo le pregunta: “�por qu� dices eso?”

“Esta guacha, con el cuento del aborto, me hizo vender el triciclo”, responde el infante.

After a few days on the new Earth, the Lord called to Adam and said, ”It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her.” Adam answered, ”Yes, Lord, but what is a ‘kiss’?”

The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, ”Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable.”

And the Lord replied, ”Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. Now, I’d like you to caress Eve.” And Adam said, ”What is a ‘caress’?” So, the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, ”Lord, that was even better than the kiss.”

And the Lord said, ”You’ve done well Adam. And now, I want you to make love to Eve.” And Adam asked, ”What is ‘make love’, Lord?” So, the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he re-appeared in two seconds. And Adam said, ”Lord, what is a ‘headache’?”