Author: admin

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest.

The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, father, what causes arthritis?”

“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.”

“Well I’ll be.” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?”

“I don’t have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

one day a man came to a new town, wentto the library and said, “could i havea book on butterflys. i loooove butterflys.”” the librarian screamed “”satan is here! everybody get him!”” so he ran & ran to the mueseum & said “” do you have a butterfly exibit?i loooove butterflys.”” the man says “”satan is here! everybody get him!”” and the man runs and runs. then he goes to a bar & the bartender says “”you look like you got a problem. wanna talk about it?”” the man says “”all day i’v been trying to find stuff about butterflys and everyone calls me satan and chases me away.”” then the man gets chased out into the street and gets hit by a car. what’s the morel of this story? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > always look both ways before crossing the street. DUH!

“

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During
one Sunday’s sermon he told them, “If one more person confesses to adultery,
I’ll quit!”

Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: “fallen.” >From
then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had “fallen.” This
satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for
years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.

Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor.
The priest was quite concerned. “You have to do something about the sidewalks in
this town, Mayor. You can’t believe how many people come into the confessional
talking about having fallen!” The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one
had explained their code word to the new priest.

But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor
and said, “I don’t know why you’re laughing; your wife fell three times last
week!”