Author: admin

Jesus recently walked into a bar somewhere in the Western World. He
approached three sad-faced gentlemen at a table, and greeted the first one:

“What’s troubling you, brother?” he said.

“My eyes. I keep getting stronger and stronger glasses, and I still can’t
see.”

Jesus touched the man, who ran outside to tell the world about his now
20-20 vision.

The next gentleman couldn’t hear Jesus’ questions, so The Lord just touched
his ears, restoring his hearing to perfection. This man, too, ran out the
door, probably on his way to the audiologist to get a hearing-aid refund.

The third man leapt from his chair and backed up against the wall, even
before Jesus could greet him. “Don’t you come near me, man! Don’t touch
me!” he screamed. “I’m on disability!”

Sven and Ole worked together and were both laid off, so off they went to the
unemployment office.

When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said “Panty
stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties.”

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she
gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Then Ole goes in and sits down with the lady.
She asked Ole his occupation. “Diesel fitter”, he replied.

Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week.

When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his
friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay.

The clerk explained: “When I looked it up, panty-stitchers were unskilled
laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers.”

Skill!…”What skill?” yelled Sven.
“I sew the elastic on…
He pulls on it and says,…..”Yep, diesel fitter”.

Una mujer estaba pasando por un examen m�dico y se sent�a avergonzada por estar muy pasada de peso. Cuando acab� de desnudarse, se sonroj� y dijo: “Estoy tan apenada, Doctor, creo que me he descuidado demasiado.”

El m�dico, que estaba en esos momentos revisando sus ojos y o�dos, dijo: “No se apene, se�orita. Realmente no se ve tan mal.”

“�De verdad piensa eso, Doctor?”

Entonces, el doctor sostuvo un depresor de lengua frente a la cara de la muchacha y dijo:

“Claro. Ahora por favor abra la boca y diga MUUUU.”

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him.

The boy’s hair was yellow, green, orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes.
The old man just stared at him.

The boy said, “What’s the matter, old man, haven’t you ever done anything wild in your life?”

The old man answered, “Well yes, actually I have. I once got drunk and screwed a parrot…
I was just wondering if you were my son!”

There were these three ducks sitting in a pond. A police officer, Officer Duckey, came by one day and saw them there. He decided to arrest the ducks and take them to see the magistrate. When in the courtroom, the magistrate called the first duck to the stand. he said to the first duck, “What were you doing in the pond?” The duck replied, “I was just blowing bubbles in the water.” The magistrate says, “Well, there isn’t anything wrong with that. You may go.” Next he calls up duck number two.”What were you doing in the pond?” Duck number two says the same as number one.”I was just blowing bubbles in the pond.” The magistrate says, “Nothing wrong with that. You may leave.” Finally he calls the third duck up to the stand.”What were you doing in the pond?” The third duck gets a huge grin on his face and says, “I’m Bubbles.”