Yours Fun Portal !
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Enid!
Enid who?
Enid some more pocket money!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Enoch!
Enoch who?
Enoch and Enoch but no one answers the door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Esau!
Esau who?
Esau down the road!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ethan!
Ethan who?
Ethan me out of house and home you are!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Essen!
Essen who?
Essen it fun to listen to these jokes!
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!””Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat.””What fer?”, asked Bubba.”Just let me do the talkin’, OK?,” said Earl.Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinkin’?””No, sir,” said Earl while pointing at the labels. “We’re on the patch.”
Hillary has just released her new book.
It takes a city to satisfy my husband.
What’s the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch whiskey. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, “That’s quite a heavy drink. What’s wrong?”After quickly downing his drink, the man replied, “I got home and found my wife having sex with my best friend.””Wow,” exclaimed the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple scotch.”No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house.”As the man downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him, “What did you do?””I walked over to my wife,” the man replied, “looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get the hell out.””That makes sense,” said the bartender, “but what about your best friend?”The man replied, “I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said, ‘BAD DOG!'”
A man walks into a bar and sits down. He notices a foot-tall piano player playing up a storm.
Man: Hey, this guy’s really good! Where’d you get him?
Barkeep: Oh, I have a magic lamp that gives me anything I want.
Man: Can I try?
Barkeep: Sure just rub it and say what you want.
Man (rubbing the lamp): I wish for ten thousand bucks.
* Ten thousand ducks appear *
Man: What the hell happened? I asked for 10,000 BUCKS, not DUCKS!
Barkeep: Think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had passed away, Jenny rushed to her grandmother’s side. When she asked the particulars of her grandfather’s death, her grandmother explained, “He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Jenny suggested sex at age 94 was surely asking for trouble. “Oh, no,” her grandmother replied, “We had sex every Sunday morning, in time with the church bells – in with the dings and out with the dongs.”
She paused and wiped away a tear. “If it hadn’t been for that ice cream truck going past, he’d still be alive.”
Un tipo tiene un dolor insoportable en el test�culo izquierdo, y decide ir al doctor, pero por el dolor tan grande que sent�a, se confundi� y entr� en el despacho de un abogado. Y el tipo le dice:
“Dr. vengo porque me duele mucho el test�culo izquierdo”
“Se�or, usted est� en un error; yo soy Doctor en Derecho”
Y el tipo responde:
“�Co�o, que avanzada est� la ciencia, ahora hay un doctor para cada huevo!”
To realize the value of ONE YEAR Ask a student who has failed his exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH Ask a mother who has given birth to a pre-mature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK Ask an editor of a weekly.
To realize the value of ONE DAY Ask a daily wage laborer.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE Ask a person who has missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLI-SECOND Ask the person who has won a silver medal in Olympics.
To realize the value of ONE MICRO-SECOND Ask a NASA scientist.
To realize the value of ONE NANO-SECOND Ask a Hardware Engineer.
And if you still don’t realize the value of time you must be a Software Engineer!!!
A woman needs only 4 things in life. A mink on her back. A Jaguar in her
garage. A tiger in her bed. And a jackass to pay for it all.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More head room.
A Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad’s do for a living.Little Mary says: “My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.”Little Jack says: “My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.” All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. The teacher says: “Johnny, what does your Dad do?” Johnny says: “My Dad is dead.” “I’m sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died ?””He turned blue and shit on the carpet