Author: admin

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They’re going to make reproductive organs

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild

Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker

W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace

3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGood

John Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere Abi

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I’m Home

Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine

3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney Opera

Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon Pants

Knott’s Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW!

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da

Un matrimonio discut�a acaloradamente, cuando la mujer empez� a gritar:

“�Si no fuera por mi dinero, este televisor no estar�a aqu�! �Y si no fuera por mi dinero, ese sill�n donde est�s sentado no estar�a aqu�!�Ni la casa, ni el auto estar�an aqu�!”

Y el hombre le respondi�:

“�Ay mi amor, si no fuera por tu dinero, YO no estar�a aqu�!”

Q. Are you married?
A. No, I’m divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn’t know about.

Hi:

Just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with a very
serious condition and there’s no hope I will ever recover. The scientific
world is frantically searching for a cure. This is an ailment many of us
suffer from and may not as yet have been diagnosed, however now you may be
able to discuss it with your loved ones and try to explain what really
happened to you all those times you tried so hard to accomplish something
and didn’t.

I call it the “But First Syndrome.”

You know, it’s when I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and
notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry….

….But first I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the
table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle rack.

….But first I’ll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be
paid. Yes, now where’s the checkbook? Oops……there’s the empty glass
from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook,

….But first I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the
window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in
the sink, and darn it, there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen
counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away….

….But first I need to water those plants. Head for door and…. Stepped on the dog. Dog
needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put that remote away and water the plants….

….But first I need to feed the dog…..

End of day: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass
is still in the sink, bills are unpaid, checkbook is still lost, and the
dog ate the remote control …….. And, when I try to figure out how come
nothing got done all day, I’m baffled because…. I know I was busy all
day!

I realize this condition is serious…and I’d get help…

….But first… I think I’ll check my email!