Yours Fun Portal !
There was a hooker with a bunch of other hookers. The police came, and said for all of the girls to line up.
The the hooker’s gramma came and said “Why are all of you girls lined up?”
The girl didn’t want her gramma to know what she did for a living so the girl said “We’re lined up to buy oranges”
The police talked to every girl individually, and when they got to gramma the police said “How do you do it, you’re so old?!?”
Gramma says – “It’s easy, just peel it down and suck it dry!”
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. “Our flag symbolizes our taxes,” he said. “We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.””That’s the same with us,” the American said, “only we see stars, too.”
your momma is so stupid she locked herself in the toilet and peed her pants
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this, then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.Looking stunned, he said, “What?”
If you have to go out to your garage to heat something up in the microwave.
So, my friend said,”Hey, what do you think about him?””Who? the principal?”I said. “No way Jose!!”she said. “Are you calling ME Jose?? Huh,huh???”I said. “No! Why would I, booger times infinity!!!!”she screamed in my ear. “Muppet Puppet MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!”I said laughing. Then someone was sneaking around the school and he heard our conversation,so when he passed us, WE GAVE HIM A DOUBLE WEDGIE!! And his boxers had B-A-R-N-E-Y on them so he was the laugh of the school!!
This couple was getting ready to go to bed and when the husband came in from the bathroom his wife was rubbing this cream all over her tits. He said “what the hell are you doing”. She said she was unhappy about the size of her breasts and this cream was supposed to make them larger. “But it really doesn’t seem to be working” she said. The husband said “wait a minute I have an idea”. So he went into the bathroom and came back with a roll of toilet paper and started rubbing it all over her tits. She said “what are you doing”? He said “well, I figured you have been wiping your ass with this for years and look how big it has gotten”!
Top Signs That You ( Or Someone You Know) Is A Real Loser!
1. Your dog would rather play fetch by itself.
2. All the numbers in your little black book start with “1-900.”
3. Due to excessive hazing and ridicule, you decided to drop out of the Day Lilly Society.
4. Your ticket was chosen in a raffle, but you’d put it in your mouth and chewed all the numbers off.
5. You’re over 10 and still have imaginary friends.
6. Your personal ad reads: “Seeking Anybody.”
7. Every time you blow a bubble, you get gum all over your face.
8. You look forward to the dinner time calls from telemarketers.
9. The last time you were invited to a party, you grooved to the lyric, “Put your right foot in, take your right foot out.”
10. You spent last summer following around the 2000 Bible Belt Trekkie Convention Tour.
Why are electric trains like a mother’s breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it’s the fathers who are always
playing with them.
If kisses are blown, kisses are wasted. Kisses aren’t kisses unless
they’re tasted. Kisses spread germs, and germs are hated, so kiss me
baby…I’m vaccinated!!!
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would’ve done it.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Henrietta!
Henrietta who?
Henrietta toadstool but thought it was a mushroom!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hepburn!
Hepburn who?
Hepburn and indigestion!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Herman!
Herman who?
Herman is handsome!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hiawatha!
Hiawatha who?
Hiawatha very bad today!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hiram!
Hiram who?
Hiram fine, how are you!