Two nuns were in a car when suddenly a Devil jumps on top of the bonet and starts scratching at the window and screaming at the two nuns.
The passenger (shocked by this) says to the driver “Quick, quick, show him your cross!!”
So the driver leans out the window and shouts “GET THE FUCK OFF MY BONET!!”
Author: admin
Q: How many Honor
Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.
driving test
Why couldn’t the blonde pass her drivers test?
She wasn’t used to being in the front seat.
Breaking Love
Your momma is so fat . . .
She fell in love and broke it.
How long?
“Mr. Clark, I’m afraid I have bad news,” the doctor told his
anxious patient. “You only have six months to live.”
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.
Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician
that he had no medical insurance. “I can’t possibly pay you in
that time.”
“Okay,” the doctor said, “let’s make it nine months.”
Never Underestimate A Women
There was 3 blonde girls running down the beach and came to a bottle. They rubbed it and a genie came and said i will give you 3 wishes but since theres 3 of you i will give you one a peice. The first blonde girl said she wanted to be 100 times smarter and she became a brunette docter. The second blonde said she wanted to be 1,000 times smarter and she turned into a red haired rocket scientist.
The third one (the dumbest one) wished she was 10,000 DUMBER and she turned into a man!
Hillbilly and Indian
Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.”
Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard a answering, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!”
He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?
“No,” said the Indian.
“It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler ‘Wooooo Wooooo! Wooooo!’ into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate.”
Just then they saw another cave.
The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave stopped, and hollered, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!”
Immediately, there was an answering “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, “Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!
It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!”
He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation and then he heard the answering call, “WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!”
With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day, the headline of the Local Newspaper read..”
NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN
Bear Hunting
Every year, Bob goes hunting during bear season. One year, Bob goes hunting, and shoots a small brown bear. Then, the mother of that small brown bear comes up to him and says, ” I’ll give you two choices, I’ll either kill you, or make love to you, but I won’t let you go.”Bob thinks on this, and decides he wants to live, so the mother bear then makes love to him.The next year, Bob goes hunting again, but this time, he shoots the mother bear that he was forced to make love to the year before. He shoots her, and her mother comes after Bob, and again, gives him the choice. “I will make love to you, or kill you, which will it be??”Again, Bob makes love to a bear.The next year, Bob goes once again for revenge, and kills the bear that he was forced to make love to the year before.This time, her sister comes up to Bob and says, “You don’t come here for the hunting, do you??”
Little boy
“Mommy, mommy”, a little boy said, “why do I keep going around
in circles?”
“Shut up, or I will nail your other foot to the floor!”
A woman never forgets the men she could have…
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the
women he couldn’t.
Bigger it gets
One day when the teacher walked to the blackboard, she noticed someone had written the word ‘PENIS’ in tiny letters. She turned around and scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it and began class.
The next day, she went into the room, she noticed in large letters the word ‘PENIS’ again, this time written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board. Each day the word was written larger than the previous day. Finally one day she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead she found the words:
“The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
Blonde in the Bathroom
Blonde: Hold on I have to go to the bathroom!
Brunette: Ok I will be at the Ice cream stand!
Blonde: Ok I will be right there!
30 Minutes Later
Brunette:Hey are you still in here?
Blonde: Oh thank goodness you came back!I have to go really bad and there was no one in here that would unzip my dress zipper so that I could go!
Brunette: Hahaha! You idiot… Just pull it up!