Author: admin

A woman walks into a vet’s waiting room.

She’s dragging a wet rabbit on a leash.

The rabbit does NOT want to be there. “Sit, Fluffy,” she says.

Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another customer’s lap, getting water all over him.

“I said SIT, now there’s a good Fluffy,” says the woman, slightly embarrassed.

Fluffy, wet already, squats in the middle of the room and pees.

The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts, “Fluffy, will you be good?”

Fluffy then starts a fight with a Doberman and pursues it out of the office.

As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the rest of the flabbergasted customers and says: “Pardon me, I’ve just washed my hare, and can’t do a thing with it!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

En el oc�ano Atl�ntico se encontraban dos barcos en alta mar, uno era un retiro espiritual de s�lo monjas y el otro de una despedida de soltero donde l�gicamente iban s�lo hombres.

De repente el barco de los hombres empieza a incendiarse y todos los tripulantes tienen que saltar al agua. Empezaron a nadar hasta el otro barco y suplicando dijeron a las monjas:

“�D�jennos subir por favor, que nos ahogamos!”

Las monjas contestaron, “�No porque ustedes nos violan!”

“�Por favor no nos dejen ahogar dejennos subir!”

“�No porque ustedes nos violan!”

“�Se lo suplicamos, por favor!”

La monja superiora dice, “Est� bien, pero con la condici�n de que les cortamos el pene seg�n la profesi�n que tenga cada uno.”

Ellos dijeron que s�, que lo que fuera.

Subi� el primer hombre y le preguntaron “�usted que es?” “Soy arquitecto.” Y pum… �se lo cortaron con una regla!.

Subi� el segundo “�y usted qu� es?” “Soy peluquero” y pum… �se lo cortaron con unas tijeras!

Subi� el tercero “�y usted?” “Soy campesino.” �Pum! con un machete.

El cuarto era un negro y estaba muerto de la risa y una monja le pregunta, “�muy feliz porque se lo vamos a cortar?”

Y dice el negro, “Lo que pasa es que yo soy paletero y a mi me lo tienen que chupar hasta que se me caiga…!”

MEGA MORON AWARDS New York: As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes Officer..that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.

The first man signed to his friend, “My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble.”

The second deaf man signed back, “Boy you’re lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late.”

The first deaf man asked, “So, what did you do?”

The second man replied, “I turned out the light.”