There is a spanish guy and a black guy in a car, who’s driving?
The cops.
Author: admin
Laughing at the doctors!!!!
One day I went to the doctor and he said I need surgery so I
asked him what for he replied that I need to have a c section I
asked him what for i never had sex he replied well you must have
because your pregnet. Ohh thats weird. The doctor finally
replied Do you want to know what is even weirder I asked him
what is it he said your having more then just twins your uhh
having septuplets. Ok I said I told the doctor something even
funnier I didn’t have sex with a man it was with my sister!!!!!1
Liars!
The priest said, “Today’s sermon is called ‘Liars’. I will get
to that in a moment, but first I have a question. How many of
you have read Chapter 66 in Matthew?” Nearly every hand went up.
“You’re just the group I need to speak to,” the priest said.
“There’s no such chapter.”
Wiped his ass.
Q. What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.
Una pareja de ma�ces reci�n
Una pareja de ma�ces reci�n casados est� en su luna de miel. La maicita empieza a coquetear:
“Maicito… �ya voy maicito!”
Se para en la puerta del ba�o con su neglig� y contin�a:
“�Maicito…!”
De pronto: �Plop! Y el maicito se volvi� palomita de ma�z (roseta).
The grip!
Q. What’s the difference between pink and purple?
A. The grip!
You might be a redneck if… dog
Your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and nobody notices.
Never judge a book by the cover
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the
sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant
on the police force covering that beat. He stopped the
car and asked,
“Why, Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beatout here in
the sticks, would it?”
“That it is,” Mike replied grimly, “ever since I arrested
the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.”
“You mean you pinched his honor?” asked Pat.
“How was I to know that his convict suit was only
a costume?” demanded Mike.
“Well,” mused Pat, “’tis life and there’s a lesson in this
somewhere.”
“That there is,” replied Mike.
“Never book a judge by his cover.”
Anit-freeze
How do you make anit-freeze?
answer- take away her blanket
Sign in a Rhodes tailor
Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: “Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.”Sign from the Soviet Weekly: “There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.”Sign in an East African newspaper: “A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.”Sign in a Vienna hotel: “In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.” Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: “Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.”
Getting Married
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But officer,” the man said, “I can explain.”
“Just be quiet!!!” snapped the officer. “…or I’m going to let you cool off in jail until the chief gets back.”
“But officer, I just wanted to say….”
“And I said KEEP QUIET! You’re going to jail!” A few hours later, the officer checked up on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it,” said the man in the cell. “I’m the groom!”
Smarter Than The Average Rock
By Maki Becker Special to the Times 28 August 1996The way police told it, Southwest Los Angeles home-invasion robbery suspect Carlos Hawthorne was trying to throw detectives off his trail.Hawthorne, 20, was one of two men who allegedly invaded Vanessa Arlene Sells’ home Sunday, shot her and her daughter, and fled in their 1992 Lexus.Police said Hawthorne called them about 7:30 p.m. Monday to report that he had seen three men running away from a Lexus near the 2500 block of Clyde Avenue in Culver City.Police officers from the LAPD’s special-problems unit responded to Hawthorne’s call and spotted the Lexus. Meanwhile, Hawthorne remained on the phone with a communications operator who was able to determine where he was calling from: a phone booth at 3560 La Cienega Blvd., less than a mile from where the car was found.The officers found Hawthorne at the phone booth, still talking to the operator and with the keys to the Lexus in his hand, and detained him. When they searched his pockets, they found a silver necklace and a bracelet that matched the description of jewelry that had been stolen from Sells’ home. They later booked him on charges of robbery and attempted murder.