Author: admin

Perplexed

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A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?”

The man in the car says, “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven’t a clue.”

The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. “Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!”

“Oh, I did,” says the driver, “and we had a swell time. Today I’m taking them to the beach.”

Bush's Advisors

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G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, “Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you.” She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, “Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” Tony Blair replies, “It’s me!” and hangs up.G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, “Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” And Cheney says, “Wow, that’s a tough one. Let me get back to you.” So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, “Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn’t your sister and it isn’t your brother. Who is it?” And Colin Powell says, “It’s me!” So Cheney calls Bush and says, “It’s Colin Powell.” And Bush says, “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

Which End?

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At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young
man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything.
When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his
fork, held it up and smirked, “Is this pig?” Another guest,
sitting opposite, asked quietly, “Which end of the fork are you
referring to?”

The talking clock!

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While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

“What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked.

“That is the talking clock”, the man replied.

“How’s it work?” the friend asked.

“Watch”, the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall…
“KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It’s two o’clock in the morning!

Blond and Brunette

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A blond and a brunette are on an elevator, suddenly a good looking
handsome man gets on.

So then the brunette turns to the blond and says, “Wow”, he is so
good looking, but that dandruff on him is a real turn off”.

“I think we should give him some Head and Shoulders!” said the
brunette.

All of a sudden the blond turned to the brunette with a confused
look and said, “Ok, but how do you give shoulders?”

Bumper Stickers

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** EARTH FIRST! We’ll strip mine the other planets later.

** If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

** No, I don’t have a license to kill; it’s just a learners permit.

** Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect.

** Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!

** Taxation WITH representation Ain’t so hot, either!

** White water… It’s all over when the First Lady sings.

** Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?

Too big!!!

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Hi!! there was a very tall man. He was flying from london to newyork.
He was burstiung 4 a pee and decided to pee. he went 2 the toilets but it was to small to a man that height. he was peeing when a woman opened his door. with that fright he pee on her boobs.
she told him that she was there to make sex in the toilet with a puppy dog!!