There were two blondes at the park.
One says, “Look at that dead seagull over there.”
And the other looks up and says, “Where?”
Author: admin
Un cubano se encontraba en
Un cubano se encontraba en la calle esperando el cami�n, pero este se hab�a retrasado y era el ultimo de la fila detr�s de una gorda. Cuando el cami�n llega todos trepan pero la gorda se atora en la puerta y el cubano le dice:
“Aligera chica, s�bete a la “huahua”, al ver que segu�a atorada no le queda mas remedio que empujarla de las nalgas. En eso se voltea la gorda indignada y llama a la polic�a, esta llega y pregunta: “que paso aqu�?”, la gorda responde: “este desgraciado negro que me agarr� el trasero” y el negro responde: “estaba esperando la huahua, esta llega, la gorda trepa, se atora y que le agarro el culo…” y el polic�a responde : “no se llama culo, se llama regiones gl�teas” y se llevan al cubano a la estaci�n de polic�a.
Al estar delante el juez �ste le hace la misma pregunta y el cubano responde: “pues nada chico, estaba esperando la huahua, esta llega, la gorda trepa, se atora y que le agarro el culo…” y el juez le replica: “no se llama culo, se llama regiones gl�teas.”
Lo llevan delante de su abogado y le hace la misma pregunta y le da el cubano la misma respuesta que le hab�a dado al polic�a y al juez, y el abogado le dice al cubano: “recuerda que cuando est�s delante del juez no digas culo sino regiones gl�teas, espero que no se te olvide.”
Vuelven a ir delante del juez y le hace la misma pregunta a lo que el cubano responde: “pues na’, que estaba esperando la huahua, esta llega, la gorda trepa, se atora y…” se voltea hacia el abogado y le pregunta: “�C�mo dices que se llama el culo de la se�ora?”
The Garage Door Is Open
Noticing that her boss’s fly was open, the embarrassed secretary
told him as she was leaving the office, “Your garage door is
open.” The bewildered executive didn’t know what to think until
a co-worker told him what she was referring to.
He decided to have some fun with her. The next day, he called
his secretary into his office and said, “Yesterday when my
garage door was open, did you see a long red Cadillac with a
hard top?” “Oh no,” she replied, “It was a little pink
Volkswagen with two flat tires up front.”
Pumpkin
Is that your head or did someone plant a pumpkin on your neck?
Body building
An apple always wanted to be strong.so he
went to bodybuilding and started practicing hard.But after a week of hard work he became a hip!
Besides ,I Love You
Besides “I love you”, what three words does a wife want to hear most?
“I’ll fix it.”
Road Marking Painter
Lempi took a job with Odovero Construction to paint lines on M28. The first day he painted ten miles. The boss was very impressed.The second day he painted two miles. The boss was a little disappointed. The third day he only painted 500 feet.The boss sat him down and said,” Lempi, how come you paint ten miles the first day, two miles the next day, but only 500 feet today?”.Lempi replied, “Well boss, each day I get farther and farther away from the paint can”.
My Dad’s better…
Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, “My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal.”
The second one says, “That’s nothing, my daddy can eat six.”
Little Johnny starts laughing and says, “My daddy can eat light bulbs.”
The other two boys tell Johnny that he is out of his mind.
They ask him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs.
Little Johnny replies, “Last night, I was passing my parent’s room and my daddy said, ‘Honey, turn out that light, I want to eat that thing.'”
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
Boat troubles
During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over to the local marina in hopes that someone there could identify her problem.Workers determined that everything from the engine to the outdrive was working perfectly on the topside of the boat. So, a puzzled marina employee jumped into the water to check underneath the boat for problems. Because he was laughing so hard, he came up choking on water and gasping for air. Under the boat, still strapped in place securely, was the trailer.
Men are like…..placemats
Men are like…..Placemats. They only show up when there’s food on the table.
Lightbulb sluts
How many sluts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None: It screws itself
Una mujer y un hombre
Una mujer y un hombre se ven envueltos en un aparatoso accidente de tr�nsito. Ambos autos quedaron totalmente destrozados, pero asombrosamente ninguno de ellos sufri� heridas. Despu�s salir a duras penas de sus autos, la mujer exclama:
“�Entonces usted es un hombre, qu� interesante, yo soy una mujer! �Guau! Solo mire nuestros autos, no ha quedado nada de ellos, pero afortunadamente estamos ilesos. Esto debe ser una se�al de Dios para que nos conoci�ramos y vivamos juntos en paz por el resto de nuestros d�as”.
“Estoy completamente de acuerdo con usted: esto debe ser una se�al de Dios”, acepta el tipo.
La mujer contin�a:
“He aqu� otro milagro: mi carro est� completamente destruido pero esta botella de vino no se rompi�. De seguro Dios quiere que nos la bebamos y celebremos nuestra buena suerte”, dicho lo cual le pasa la botella al hombre.
El caballero, asintiendo con la cabeza, abre la botella y le da varios tragos monumentales. Luego se la devuelve a la mujer. La fulana toma la botella e inmediatamente le pone la tapa y se la regresa al tipo. �ste, intrigado, le pregunta:
“�Es que usted no va a beber?”
La mujer, alzando los hombros, se limita a decir:
“No, creo que yo esperar� hasta que llegue la polic�a”.