A hotel busboy looked through the keyhole of the honeymoon suite and exclaimed, ‘Wowie!’ A maid heard him and pushed him out of the way for a look. She said, ‘Oh, my God!’ Just then the maitre d’ walked down the hall and moved her out of the way. He took a look and said, ‘I can’t believe he complained about a hair in his soup last night!’
Author: admin
A contradiction in terms:…
A contradiction in terms:
Visual COBOL
Christmas sweater
I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
Great Trick For Sex
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asks, “What’s that for?”
“It’s for your headache”, he replies
“But I don’t have a headache”, she states.
He replies, “Gotcha!”
Est� un norte�o en el
Est� un norte�o en el lobby-bar de un hotel y se le acerca una guapa chica:
“Hola, �como esta�?”
“Qu� paso huerca �ya nos conoc�amos?”
“No, pero podemos conocernos �nos tomamos una copa?”
“Pos… bebedor bebedor, lo que se dice bebedor, no soy, pero nos latomamos.”
Despu�s de varias copas dice la chica:
“�Bailamos?”
“Pos bailador bailador, lo que se dice bailador, no soy, pero pos bailamos.”
Un rato despu�s dice la chica: “�Vamos a la cama?”
“Pos dormil�n dormil�n, lo que se dice dormil�n, pos no soy, pero vamos pues.”
Despu�s de hacer el amor toda la noche, la dama le dice al norte�o:
“Bueno, pues me tengo que ir �te parece bien que sean cinco mil pesos?”
“Pos… padrot�n padrot�n, lo que se dice padrot�n pos no soy, pero ah� d�jalos en el bur� de mi cama…”
The top ten reasons why the television is better than the World Wide Web
10. It doesn’t take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last time you tuned in to “Melrose Place” and got a “Error 404” message? 8. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV–even on MTV. 7. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening. 6. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard. 5. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an “Under Construction” sign. 4. Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in. 3. You just can’t find those cool Health Rider infomercials on the Web. 2. Set-top boxes don’t beep and whine when you hook up to HBO. 1. You can’t surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.
Upper Level Management
When Development Engineers go out together on a week-end they talk about football.
When Middle management are together, they talk about tennis.
Top management discusses golf.
Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.
Yo mama so fat
yo mamas so fat when she goes to the zoo people start shuting hippopotumus
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
I don’t know, there are some things even a blonde won’t do.
How many lawyers does
How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?
3 1/2 if you slice em’ right.
The dieter’s church!
Have you heard about the new low-fat communion bread?
It’s called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus”!
Pastor Fuzz
One day, Pastor Fuzz is walking down the street, when he passes
by the local pub and sees a church employee inside drinking. He
thinks this is a sinful thing to do, so he goes inside to stop
her.
He walks right up to her and says, “You shouldn’t be drinking in
some nasty bar, Ms. Fitzgerald. Let me take you home.” She says,
“Okay” in a sort of slurred voice, obviously having a little too
much to drink. So Pastor Fuzz takes her hand and is taking her
out of the bar, when they loose balance and land on top of each
other, her skirt lifts up. The barkeep yells, “Hey! No carrying
on like that in here!”
The Pastor says, “You don’t understand! I’m Pastor Fuzz!” and
the barkeep says, “Since you’re that far, you might as well
finish what you started!”