What’s the difference between a Jewish American Princess and a canoe?
– Canoes tip.
Author: admin
Teacher’s Pet
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is � it’s some flowers!” “That’s right!”, shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said, “I bet I know what it is � it’s a box of candy!” “That’s right!” shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. “Is it wine?”, she asked. “No”, the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. “Is it champagne?”, she asked. “No”, the boy answered. “What is it?””A puppy!”
Trust them; leave them alone.
When license fees are too high,
users do things by hand.
When the management is too intrusive,
users lose their spirit.
Hack for the user’s benefit.
Trust them; leave them alone.
How to teach a blonde maths
How do you teach a blonde maths?
Plus her head
Divide her arms
Subtract her legs
Give her a square root
And see if she Multiplys
My Paw
A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west and siddles up to the bar and announces:
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
Knock Knock 36
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chip!
Chip who?
Chip of Fools!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
China!
China who?
China just like old times isn’t it!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chloe!
Chloe who?
Chloe’s Encounters of the Third Kind!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chopin!
Chopin who?
Chopin the supermarket!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chow Mein!
Chow Mein who?
Chow mein to meet you my dear!
Cessna bird strikes
You know you’re flying a Cessna when you have a bird strike and it is from behind!
Amish father
Q: How does an Amish father find his daughter in the field?
A: Pretty good.
En una convenci�n de la
En una convenci�n de la ciencia se encontraban un cient�fico ingl�s, uno franc�s y uno espa�ol.
El ingl�s dice:
“En mi pa�s despu�s de mucho estudiar y analizar el tema de la clonaci�n hemos creado un animal mezcla de vaca y de camello, que llamamos vacamello. Sus jorobas est�n rebosantes de leche, con las que alimentamos a toda Inglaterra”.
Y dice el franc�s:
“Eso no es nada en mi pa�s hemos creado una mezcla de cerdo y elefante que llamamos cerdifante, y con sus inmensos jamones alimentamos Francia y todo la meseta europea”.
Y dice el espa�ol:
“Eso no es nada, en Espa�a hemos creado una mezcla de luci�rnaga y ladilla que no se como se llama, pero el co�o de mi mujer parece Las Vegas”.
The dog, once he’s in, he shuts up!
Q. Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife’s yelling at the
front wanting in. Which one do you let in?
A. The dog, once he’s in, he shuts up!
Yo Momma so fat
Your momma so fat when she wears high heels she strikes oil!
Un borracho est� tratando de
Un borracho est� tratando de abrir la puerta de su casa, cuando, de pronto, llega la polic�a y le cuestiona por qu� est� tratando de entrar a ese lugar.
“�Pero si �sta es mi casa!”, se defiende con voz estropajosa el temulento.
Para aclarar las cosas, hace pasar a los agentes del orden, se�al�ndoles:
“Ven esos muebles: son mis muebles, yo los compr�. Ven ese televisor: es m�o, yo lo compr�”.
Luego, los hace pasar al dormitorio matrimonial:
“Ven a esa mujer que est� durmiendo en mi cama: esa es mi esposa. Y ven al que est� durmiendo con ella: ese soy yo”.