1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it’s the real thing.
6. Honesty.
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes
and risk your life in front of bulls.
8. You get to eat bulls’ testicles.
9. Gibraltar.
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
Author: admin
Women�s Lament
The nice men are ugly. The handsome men are not nice. The handsome and nice
men are gay. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. The men who
are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money. The men who are not so
handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. The
handsome men without money are after our money. The handsome men, who are not so
nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough. The men who
think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are
cowards. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money
and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! The
men, who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we
take the initiative. And yet, WOMEN are the CONFUSING sex?
Redneck quickies 12
You might be a redneck if…Your momma tore her best dress coon hunting. You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run). You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right’ You have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite. Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack. You go to a tupperware party for a haircut. You’ve ever spray painted your girlfriend’s name on an overpass. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
three wishes
a man decided to go out fishing. while he was fishing his pole started to yank hard. so the man started wheeling in as fast and hard as he could. he saw the fish and it was pretty big.he said to himself ooo i can take this one home for dinner. then the fish sayed… if u free me i will grant u 3 wishes…BUT!…on your wishes your neighbor will have twice as much. so the man sayed ok…i wish to have a huge beautiful house.BOOM! theres a huge beautiful house house. but he sees his neighbor with two huge beautiful houses…so the man gets kinda jealous but o well. so goes on to his next wish…i wish had a nice red ferrari ok BOOM! there it is but he sees his neighbor with 2 of them! now this guy is really mad and says i wish i wish i had 1 of my testicles removed. ok ..BOOM! then he hears a big scream comming from hi s neighbor i think u get y.
Two gays
Two gays are having sex, when suddenly a guy on the TV says that there is an emergency, and everyone has to leave the city. Which one is ready to leave first?The one on the bottom, he’s already got his shit packed.
YO MAMA
YO MAMA IS SO UGLY SHE WAS AT A CARNIVAL IN A FUN HOUSE AND SHE BROKE EVERY MIRROR ON HER WAY OUT!!!!!
Your horse wears shoes, but
Your horse wears shoes, but you don’t.It doesn’t bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted.You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel.
Bill Clinton & JFK
Whats the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One got his head blown off in the back seat of a car, the other was
asassinated.
What do you call a
What do you call a Jewish American Princess’s waterbed?
The Dead Sea
Lawyer road kill
A bored truck driver had a nasty habit of swerving to hit attorneys he found walking along side of the highway. One day as he was driving along he came across a Nun who appeared to be having car trouble. Pulling over to offer the Nun a ride to the nearest service station, the Nun graciously thanked the driver for stopping and accepted his offer. After driving a few miles the truck driver saw an attorney walking along the highway. As was his custom, the truck driver swerved to hit the attorney but, at the last moment, remembered he had the Nun as a passenger and abruptly swerved away to avoid hitting the attorney. Surprised upon hearing a loud ‘thump’ as he passed the attorney, the truck driver peered in his rear view only to see the attorney lying injured along side of the road. “I’m so sorry Sister, I thought I missed hitting that attorney!” the truck driver plead. “You did my son, but I got him with the door!” gleed the Nun.
Duct Tape?
Q: What do you call a roll of duct tape??
A: Red neck chrome.
Blondes at a gas station
Two blodes were at a gas station one blode got out to go and get some food she comes back and say’s i have locked my keys in my car!! so she goes to get some help moments later she comes back with a coat hanger and she stickes the hanger in the car window and the blond in the car is sittin there saying “a little to the left back to the right”.