Sex can wait so masturbate
Author: admin
Knock KnockWho’s there?Izzy!Izzy who?Izzy come,
Knock KnockWho’s there?Izzy!Izzy who?Izzy come, Izzy go!
What do you get?
What do you get when you cross a vibrator with an anteater?
An armadildo.
If four vehicles arrive at an intersection…
If four vehicles arrive at an intersection with a four way stop, who has
the right of way?
The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker that reads
“Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
President Bill
An American President named Bill
Of sex scandal and sleaze had his fill
He said to the presses, “I’ll wear low-cut dresses
And spike heels, to give Starr a real thrill!”
A man walks into a bar
A man walks imto a bar
OW!
Baby Talk
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls
have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends,
“It’s okay, we can play that game again!”
Cierta vez, una mujer se
Cierta vez, una mujer se encontraba con su amante en un restaurante:
“Querido, tengo ganas que me hagas el amor en mi casa”.
“�Y si llega tu marido?”
“No te preocupes por �l: es un pendejo”.
Llega la noche y, ya en la casa, los amantes est�n en la rec�mara haciendo sus cosillas, cuando entra el marido al cuarto y los sorprende in fraganti:
“�Qu� est�n haciendo, cabrones?”
“�No te digo, mi marido es un pendejo: no sabe lo que estamos haciendo!”
Dirty Ernie
Dirty Ernie was sitting in his second grade class when he looked out the window and saw two dogs screwing in the school yard. He jumped up and hollered, “Hey, everyone! look at that!” The teacher ran to the window and pulled the blind. A little girl in the front row said, “Teacher, what was those two dogs doing? The teacher said that the dog on top had a broken leg, and the dog on the bottom was helping him get home. Dirty Ernie then said, “Teacher, ain’t that just like life, you try to help someone out and end up getting screwed?”
Two guys camping
These two guys go camping, and after two weeks, decide they need a break from each other. So they decide to split up for a few days, and meet up back at the campsite.
When they return, the first guy says, “I had the most wonderful time! I hiked for a few miles, and found a beautiful little stream in a valley. There was a little deer, drinking out of the stream.it was wonderful! I spend the whole three days there.”
“Well, that’s okay,” says the second guy, “but check _this_ out. I followed some train tracks, and found a gorgeous girl, tied to the tracks! I untied her, and we had the most amazing sex, for three days, in every imaginable position!”
“Wow!” says the first guy, envious. “Did she give you oral sex?”
“No,” says the second guy. “I couldn’t find her head.”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Minnie!Minnie who?Minnie more!
Knock KnockWho’s there?Minnie!Minnie who?Minnie more!
accidents near home
What did the blonde do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home?He moved ten miles away.