What did the father say to his blonde daughter?
”If you’re not in bed by 11, come home.”
Author: admin
Rejected Childrens Book Titles 2
Rejected Childrens Book Titles 2.0
1.Lets Learn About Jobs:Hookers
2.Ozzy Osbournes guide to a better vocabluary
3.Hitlers Life Story in Excrusiating Detail: FOR KIDS
4.More Four Letter Words that are Fun to Say
5.Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Sadistic Murderer whos primary targets are Mystery Solving Children
6.The Time Where Cindy Was So Bad, Her Mom stopped loving her
7.A Series of Unfortunate Events #17: The One where the youngest child dies
8:Harry Pothead and the Mysterious Bong
9.There once was an old lady who swallowed a fly and then got leukemia
10.101 Monsters that live Underneath your Bed
11.Rugrats All Grown Up: The Time Chucky Found that Mysterious Plant outside
If this company ran Christmas…
If Radio Shack ran Christmas…The staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything about them or what they were for. Or you could buy parts to build your own tree.
Christmas Cop
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and
next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid, ”Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to
you?”
The kid said, ”Yeah.”
The cop said, ��well next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike.”
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket.
Before he rode off he said, ”By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there.
Did Santa bring that to you?”
Humoring the kid, the cop said, ”Yeah, he sure did.”
The kid said, ��well next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the
horse, instead of on top.”
Question and answer blonde joke
Q: How to you keep a blonde busy all day?A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Numbers
why 6 dont like 7?
ans- because seven hate nine (7 8 9) and six and nine are mates.
10 reasons why sex is better than school
10. Everbody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for virgins and only
because they haven’t had sex yet.
9. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc…, school just sucks.
8. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school you feel like
smoking something a whole lot stronger.
7. You only get disciplined during sex if you want to.
6. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school drives people to drink.
5. Sex releives stress, school is the cause of stress.
4. Nothing beats the “hands on” experience you get with sex.
3. After sex you feel like you have accomplished something.
2. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a hooker, it is still cheaper
than paying thousands of dollars in tuition.
1. At least you have a choice whether or not you want to have sex. At
school your teachers screw you regardless!!!
Man with no arms
An armless man walked into a bar, which is empty except for the bartender. He
ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the
money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.
The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass
to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then
asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from
his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to
have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.
The man said, “Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is
your restroom?”
The bartender quickly replied, “The closest one is in the gas station three
blocks down the street�.
Screw canoes
Indians capture 3 people they want to kill for skin for a canoe.
An American, a Russian, and a Frenchman. The Indians ask the
Frenchman “How would you like to die?” The Frenchman said “I
want to be hung.” So the Indians hang him. They ask the Russian
“How do you want to die?” The Russian said “I want to be
poisoned.” So the Indians poison him. Then they ask the
American”How do you want to die?” The American says “I want to
be forked.” “What’s forked?” asked the Indians. “Give me and
I’ll show you.” So the American takes the fork and pounds it on
his chest saying “Screw your canoe!”
Parachute
Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute?
It opens on impact.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Testing
A college dean was berating a veteran economics professor for having used the same tests for the past 35 years.
“Don’t you realize, professor, that the students have been sharing these tests for decades and that all of your students know EXACTLY what’s on the test before they sit for it?”
“Doesn’t matter,” replied the professor. . . .”I just keep changing the ANSWERS.”
Q. Why is a fat woman like a moped?…
Q. Why is a fat woman like a moped?
A. They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on either one.