What is the diffrence between a blonde and a lawyer?
The blonde stops screwing you when you’re dead!
Author: admin
Blond walks in
blond walks in a store. she asks to buy a tv. the store maneger says sory we dont sell these to blonds.
she comes in the next day as a brunet she says can i buy this tv. the manager says sory we dont sell these to blond.
then she asks how did you know i was a blond the manager says because thats a microwave
Pregnant Nun
a new young nun gets pregnant and the doctor tells the mother superiordoc: “she is pregnant mother: ” she can’t be” doc: “look i tell you she is” mother: “well you have to leave — this is an internal problem”the mother superior asked the nun a few questions1. have you ever heard of a dick? nun: ” sorry i do not know a person called dick”2. have you ever heard of a penis? nun: “no sorry i do not play the piano”nun: ” you are asking me the same questions as father o’conner did”mother: ” father o’conner when did you see him”nun: ” he comes to my cell every friday evening he tells me about my gates of heaven and his key”mother: ” what key “nun: ” the one between his legs “mother: “that BASTARD!!!!!!!!! he told me thats gabriel’s horn i have been blowing that for 5 fucking years”SUBMITTED BY ADAM KEELEY + STUART KING
Two lawyers were walking along
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case.
”Look,” said one, ”let’s be honest with each other.”
”Okay, you first,” replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
Ignorance is bliss. No
Ignorance is bliss. No wonder I’m so depressed.
People make you cry(for a blond)
Q)How do you make a blond laugh
A)HAHA Im blond
GOD’s Kids.
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said to them was:
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” Adam replied.
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.
“Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit?
Hey, Eve…we got Forbidden Fruit!”
“No way!”
“Yes, WAY!”
“Don’t eat that fruit!” said God.
“Why?”
“Because I’m your Father and I said so!” said God, wondering why he hadn’t stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” the First Parent asked.
“Uh huh,” Adam replied.
“Then why did you?”
“I dunno,” Eve answered.
“She started it!” Adam said.
“Did not!”
“DID so!”
“DID NOT!”
Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Nun joke
what do you call a sleep walkin nun?
a roaming catholic
Small Pocks?!
This newly wed couple went on their honeymoon. When they got to the hotel,
the man began to undress. When he took his pants off, his knees were all
knotty and twisted. His wife exclaimed “Oh, goodness, what happened to
your knees?” He explained to her that his mother said he had a bad case of
kneesles when he was a child. She said, “Don’t you mean measles?” He said
he was sure it was kneesles.
Next, he took off his socks and his toes were crooked and turned and she
asked what had happened to his toes. He again explained that his mother
said he had a severe case of toelio as a child. She said he must mean
polio and he said, no that it was definitely toelio.
When he took off his underwear, his new wife rolled her eyes and
exclaimed, “Don’t tell me you had Small Cocks, too?!”
Circumcise
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
How many white girls…
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? None because she’s to busy screwing her cousin! Isn’t that funny!
Last but not least I would like to say to the makers of this sight that you are the dumbest bunch of SOB’s that I have ever seen. You must have blacks on your mind everyday day and night to do a whole website of them. Maybe if you would stop thinking of them so much and think about the fact that your Sister is really your aunt then maybe you wouldn’t spend as much time thinking about blacks. Also I am sick tired of hearing you all tell us to go back to Africa, well if that’s the case why don’t you go back to England because you stole this land from the Indians. Oh and the next time you want to call a black a nigger why don’t you consider the fact that a nigger is an ignorant person and I guess that includes you to.
Microwave Oven
Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle
of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food
placed within the cooking compartment.