yo momma is so old ,her titty milk is powder
Author: admin
Weight watchers
Your mama is so fat, that when she came back from weight watchers, she had a shirt on that said MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.
Men and weather
Q: How is a man like the weather?
A: Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Tsunami
Your momma is so fat that when she jumped in the ocean, she was the cause for the tsunami.
Rabbit
what do you call a rabbit with a bent dick,—-fucks funny (bugs bunny)
The Lazy Dumbass
There was once a man named Joe,who was really lazy so he said to
himself”i wanna die”, so he did and up he went to heaven’s door
and knocked.God opened up.”Ah yes what the hell u want?””hi may
name is Joe and i felt i didn’t want to do anything down in
earth so i died.” “yes well if u wanna be here u have to do
something.Do you wanna clean the dishes?” “ah no” “do u wanna
make dinner?” “ah no” “then do you wanna do that thing in the
corner where you turn the handle and little kids of all kinds
come out of?” “ah sure y nott?seems easy to me.” so he began
doing that as his job,and little blonde kids,brunette’s,red
heads,americans,italian’s came out until he was fallin
asleep.Then a little black kid came out and he said”OH shit
they’re burning!!”
An old G.P. and his nurse
An old G.P. and his nurse were on the train, going to a Medical Conference.
Opposite them was a man furiously scratching his elbow?
“I wonder what’s the matter with him?” asked the nurse.
“He’s a patient of mine and, in confidence, I can tell you that he suffers
badly from hemorrhoids,” replied the G.P.
“Well, why he’s scratching his elbow?” asked the puzzled nurse.
“Oh, he’s a politician, and he doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.”
Pete rose & pizza hut ad
In 1995, Pizza Hut scheduled a commercial featuring Pete Rose. According to
news reports, “a young boy is supposed to ask Pete about his accomplishments in
baseball. At the end, Rose asks if the boy likes Pizza Hut pizza, and the boy
replies, ‘You bet!'” After reviewing the script, the company canceled the
script. “That’s not the best choice of words,” explained Rose.
The Top 13 Things You Won’t Hear At Daytona
13. “None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth.”
12. “Tampax! Get your Tampax here!”
11. “Hey, shut up! I can’t hear the race.”
10. “Sex with your sister!? Man, that’s sick.”
9. “My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!”
8. “Hey, you with the large breasts — out of the way! We’re trying to watch a race here!”
7. “Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach� case, then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone.”
6. “What a coincidence, Hank — all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!”
5. “These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!”
4. “Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at ‘Depends’ understand you’re looking for a new corporate sponsor…”
3. “Whew! No more beer for me, fellas…”
2. “Filling in for Dale ‘the intimidator’ Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael ‘Lord of the Dance’ Flatley.”
1. “…and now, singing our national anthem — international recording artist Boy George!”
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com]Your Fat Mama
Your mama is so fat…
…people exercise by running laps around her.
…the government wants to make her a state.
…I need double vision to see her.
…she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
…when she was a baby, her first word was “Oink”.
…her favorite food is fifths.
…her shoes smile when she take them off.
…when she roll over, it registers the Richter scale.
A tech get drafted!
One of Microsoft Network’s finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp.
At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away.
The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target.
The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off — whereupon he yelled toward the target area…
“It’s leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!”
HIPPOS
Why do hippos have sex under water?
Why?
Cause it takes alot to get a fifty pound pussy wet!!!HAHAHA