IBM: It’s Being Mended
Author: admin
An old occupation
What happens when people of different occupations get old.- Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.- Walt Disney didn’t die. He’s in suspended animation.- Old white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged.- Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.
Cordless phone
Your momma is so stupid she tripped on a cordless phone.
On a radiator repair garage:…
On a radiator repair garage:
“Best place to take a leak.”
Niagra? Viagra?
What is the differance between Niagra and Viagra?
One goes up and the onter goes down.
Cross Breeding
What do you get when you cross a prostitute with a computer?
A fucking know it all.
Birds
what do you get if you cross a elephant with a skunk
answer=a smell that you will never forget
Barely graduated
One day 2 guys who had just BARELY graduated highschool decided to go to
college. Now, these boys weren’t too bright but they had a lot of money. So they
go to the counselors office to see what classes they have to take before they
take the classes they wanted. The counselor only lets one of them in and the
other has to wait outside. So one of the boys goes in, and the counselor says,
well your first classes have to be math, reading, and logic. The boy says
“Logic, whats logic?” The counselor gives him and example and she says “Well, do
you own a weedwacker?” the boy says “yeah” and then the counselor says, “well
then, i would think that since you own weedwacker then you must have a yard” the
boy impressed says “yeah” and the counselor says “and i would think that if you
own a yard, then you must own a house” the boy is amazed and says “yeah!” the
counselor continues “and if you own a house i would think that you are straight
and would want to have a wife one day” the boy says “Yeah!!!” so the boy signs
him and his friend up for classes and goes out to meet his friend. His friend
says “well what do we have to take?” the boy says “we have to take math,
reading, and logic.” his friend says “Logic? whats logic?” and the boy says “Do
you own a weedwacker?” his friend says “no” and the boy goes…
Blubber trouble
Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES!
The vet
A doctor lies next to his patient, his mind wrestles back and forth.
One side says “It’s fine that you’re not the first doctor to sleep with a patient.”
But, the other side keeps screaming “But you’re a veterinarian!”
Submitted by Admin
Edited by Curtis
Getting Ready For The Plane Crash
A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the
pilot announced, “Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a
heavy fog, and it has eliminated all our visibility.”
The passengers were numb with fear, except for one… a retired minister.
“Now, now, keep calm,” he said. “Let’s all bow our heads and pray.”
Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray… except one man.
“Why aren’t you bowing your head to pray?” the minister asked.
“I don’t know how to pray,” replied the passenger.
“Well, just do something religious!” instructed the minister.
The man got up and passed his hat down the aisle, taking an offering.
Wabbit season
how do you catch a unique wabbit?
you neek up on him