Author: admin

When God created the earth, Adam & Eve, he found he had two baubles left over. He came to Adam & Eve & said, “I have two things left. One is the gift to piss while standing up.”

Adam got very excited: “Oh, that would be so great, I would really like that. If I’m out in the fields, I can just go right there.”

So Eve smiled & said, “Okay, it sounds like he really wants that.”
As Adam tried out his new gift, he asked out of curiousity, “What was the other gift?”

“Oh,” God said, looking, “Multiple orgasms.”

A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road side damage directly across the street from a house of ill repute, when they witnessed a Protestant Reverend lurking about and then ducking into the house.

“Would ya look at that Darby!” said Pat. “What a shameful disgrace, those Protestant Reverends sinning in a house the likes of that place!”

They both shook their heads in disgust and continued their work.

A short time later they watched as a Jewish Rabbi looked around himself cautiously and then darted into the house when he was satisfied no one had spied him.

“Did ya see that Darby?” Pat asked the other in shock and disbelief. “Is nothing holy to those Jewish people? I just can’t understand what the world is coming to these days. A man of the cloth indulging himself in sins of the flesh. Tis a shame, I tell ya!”

Not long had passed when they saw a third man, a Catholic Priest, lurking about the house looking around to see if any one was watching and then quietly sneaking in the door.

“Oh no, Darby look!” Said Pat removing his cap. “One of the poor girls musta died.”

A Letter
After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on
Earth, Stupider now stood before his boss ready to present his findings.
“Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?” God asked. “I’m very sorry to
have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There are
drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it – a regular Sodom and Gomorra. But the
worst is this new obsession with oral sex. According to my survey, 88% of the
population is doing it. Even four out of five dentists recommend it. I’m afraid
it has reached epidemic proportions.”

“Hmmm,” God said thoughtfully, “Do you have any recommendations as to what
should be done to put an end to this sexual perversion?”

“I think we should send a message to everyone on Earth who engages in oral
sex. The contents of that message should tell them exactly what will happen to
them on judgment day if they do not stop this type of activity.” replied St.
Peter.

“That is an effective solution,” God stated, “but I think that instead of
punishing those who practice oral sex, we should reward those who = refrain from
it. Let’s send a letter that’s personally signed by me to each one of these good
people.” And so they did. Do you know what the letter said?

(scroll down)

No? (scroll down a little more)

Hmmm…You didn’t get the letter either, huh?

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and
talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t
handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the
instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.”

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: “And if he can’t handle
even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.”