Yo Mama so dumb she tried to eat Jerry “Rice”.
Author: admin
Yo mama so fat…
Yo mama so fat she could use the equator as a belt.
I picked up a hooker
One day a guy picks up a hooker. He takes her to a fleabag motel, and they get undressed and get into bed. He gets excited and they go ahead and start messing around. He puts his knob into her and commences to screw her, when he notices that her insides are rough, and are scratching the daylights out of him. Guy says,”Baby, your pussy is killing me. What’s the problem?” She replies, “Excuse me for a minute.” She goes into the bathroom, then returns. They start to have sex again, and he notices it is smooth, and even quite lubricated. They get done, and he asks,” What happened? It was so rough, and then when you got back, it was great. What did you do?” She replies, “Oh, I just picked off the scabs.”
The Road Runner
The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.
He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz… down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, “I’m a dove and I’ve been loved!”
The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, “I’m a Lark and I’ve been sparked”
The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off.
The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says “I’m a Drake and there’s been a mistake!”
lesbians
What do lesbians do when they have their periods? Finger paint
Men’s English
I’m hungry = I’m hungry
I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
I’m tired = I’m tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What’s wrong? = I don’t see why you are making such a big deal out of this
What’s wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What’s wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let’s have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we’d better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn’t look that much different!
Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go home!
I don’t think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.
Q. What do elephants use for tampons?…
Q. What do elephants use for tampons?
A. Sheep.
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in “just for a couple of weeks.”
The little boy and the little girl
theres a little boy and a little girl. the little girl goes my mommie told me about my garage and the little boy goes well my daddy told me about my limo. then the little boy goes can i park my limo in your garage.
“We got new advice as to what motivated man…
“We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free
his hands for masturbation.”
– Jane Wagner
If a word is misspelled
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
Good question!
If Atheists don’t belive in God…
…can they get insured for an act of god?