Author: admin

There is this guy who really takes care of his body. He lifts weights and jogs six miles every day.

One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body and notices that he is suntanned all over with the one exception of his penis, which he readily decides to do something about.

He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he leaves sticking out.

Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, she begins to move it around with the cane. Remarking to the other little old lady, she says, “There is really no justice in the world.”

The other little old lady says, “What do you mean by that?”

The first little old lady says, “Look at that – When I was 20 – I was curious about it. When I was 30 – I enjoyed it. When I was 40 – I asked for it. When I was 50 – I paid for it. When I was 60 – I prayed for it. When I was 70 – I forgot about it. Now that I’m 80, the damn things are growing wild, and I’m too old to squat!”

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large
bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the
bags?”

“Sand,” answers Juan.

The guard says, “We’ll just see about that ~ get off the bike.” The guard
takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing
in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the
man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”

“Sand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags
contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, who crosses the
border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events if repeated every week for three years. Finally,
Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a cantina in
Mexico.

“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard, “I know you are smuggling something. It’s
driving me crazy. It’s all I think about. I can’t sleep. Just between you
and me, what are you smuggling?”

Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”

Una ni�a se dirige a su madre:

“Mam�, �cu�ntos tipos de hombres hay?”.

Sorprendida, la mujer le responde:

“Mira hija, los hombres durante su vida pasan por tres fases:

Antes de los 29 son como el arbusto del jard�n: duros y bien dispuestos.
Hasta los 49 son como el roble: fuertes y confiables.
Y a partir de los 50 son como los arbolitos de Navidad: con las bolitas de adorno”.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around, does he become
disoriented?