Lickety-split

The businesswoman, in town for an important meeting, checked into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags.

Noticing that her best suit had been badly wrinkled during her flight, she telephoned the desk and asked the hotel’s valet service to pick it up for pressing.

Almost immediately after she hung up the phone, a knock sounded at the door, and there stood an elderly Chinaman, waiting.

Impressed by the fast service, the career woman exclaimed, “My, you come lickety-split!”

“No, ma’am,” replied the elderly Chinaman. “Come to get laundry.”

Knock Knock 184

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Valencia!
Valencia who?
Valenicia dollar, will you pay it back?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Value!
Value who?
Value be my Valentine?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Vanessa!
Vanessa who?
Vanessa bus be along in a minute!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Vanessa!
Vanessa who?
Vanessa going to grow up?

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Vanilla!
Vanilla who?
Vanilla call the doctor?

Blonde goes flying

A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As
all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio
on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it
and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The
view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.”

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The
instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she
hadn’t radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile
away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said, “I don’t know! Everything was going
fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can barely remember
anything after I turned off the big fan!”

Bar room football

A nfl guy walks in to a bar and he said no one can beat me ! but then a little guy walks up and says i can! so the nfl guy says name your game the man says bar room football.the nfl guy says how do you play? the man said you drink a picher of beer pull down you pants and fart. so thay do this about seven times. the nfl guys up he drinks a picher of beer pulls down his pants the little man runs over and puts his foot up his but and said block field goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!